tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28561836759849869092024-03-13T02:23:50.378-06:00The Jane Project 2.6Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.comBlogger220125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-17356443459072633592013-07-24T07:53:00.000-05:002013-07-24T07:53:25.103-05:00Riot.Jane is Writing Again!In the event this feed is still in anyone's list ..... Good news! Riot.Jane is writing again! Find her at <a href="http://culturaldissidence.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Cultural Dissidence</a>.Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-76209415021982629512012-03-08T13:44:00.001-06:002012-03-08T16:58:26.163-06:00Time to Defend Sluts<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riot.Jane</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Yasmin Nair has a killer <a href="http://m.jezebel.com/5891313/in-defense-of-sluts">post</a> at Jezebel in which she reminds us that sluts -- women who actually enjoy sex -- deserve to be treated with the same respect as anyone else.<br />
<br />
<i>Can we please remember that it's also perfectly fine that women need access to birth control because they really do like having lots of sex and being, generally, you know, sluts? For fuck's sake, we fought for the Pill and access to contraception because we once thought that boundless sex without consequences-whether with one person or with many, at the same time or sequentially, either way-is a pretty good thing. </i><br />
<br />
Sing it, sister.<br />
<br />
~Riot.Jane</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-47596459171603574722011-06-25T16:30:00.002-05:002011-06-25T16:31:46.526-05:00Tech Curiosities: Boounce, ReadyBoost, and Fonolo<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvMyjm1sj5MqIMQJtB-7nKB9J6Awomqb8mrHqK67N2ERE5xetthfN7-m0obxBdD_p8dZHyY2LRaws4oiqpm7fs3YN-zxGYMu8jBuT30PdV85bNscVWrJX2_hyphenhyphenIS1emggI80CxL4oeIKcyN/s1600/Admin.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvMyjm1sj5MqIMQJtB-7nKB9J6Awomqb8mrHqK67N2ERE5xetthfN7-m0obxBdD_p8dZHyY2LRaws4oiqpm7fs3YN-zxGYMu8jBuT30PdV85bNscVWrJX2_hyphenhyphenIS1emggI80CxL4oeIKcyN/s200/Admin.Jane.png" width="183" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Admin.Jane</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Three items have piqued my technical curiosity in the past week. One I am excited about sharing because I had good results with it, one that I plan to try, and one I think is likely not ready for consumer prime time . . . <br />
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<b><a href="http://www.boounce.com/boouncefeatures.php">Boounce</a>:</b><br />
<br />
I heard about this on the local public radio community spotlight of a local techical start-up. Billed by its producer as a low-footprint browser add-on that hyper-charges internet searching, Boounce (pronounced "bounce") returns searches from multitudes of standard and vertical search engines as well as niche websites concurrently. With search results organized by clickable icons (when in "Toolbar" mode), Bounce claims to dive deeper and vastly outperform standard search engines in the amount and quality of results -- Because any given single <br />
<a name='more'></a>search engine can only return results on their individual ~1% index of the internet. I have not yet experimented with this product, but it's free and interesting. I will be trying it soon.<br />
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<b><a href="http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows7/products/features/readyboost">ReadyBoost</a>:</b><br />
<br />
A friend of mine showed me this last weekend. A feature available in all versions of Windows 7, ReadyBoost enables flash memory to act as additional system RAM. How many of us have system boards that won't recognize as much RAM as our OS will? I tried ReadyBoost early this past week, and giving my netbootk an additional 2gb of RAM seems to have doubled its speed in less than 5 minutes. Extremely cool! <br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://fonolo.com/">Fonolo</a>:</b><br />
<br />
This idea of this two-faced project amused me at <a href="http://www.pcworld.com/article/230651/bypass_company_phone_menus_with_fonolo.html">first glance</a>, but something about the write-up seemed press-release-y. I looked for more information and found that this software seems to primarily be aimed at call centers and/or customer service organizations to enable their customers in deep-dialing the ever-present over-complicated telephone network by visually representing the call routing map and allowing callers to click on <i>exactly</i> what is needed. The idea is to reduce hold time and improve customer satisfaction. While the Fonolo website makes clear that this software is primarily aimed at customer service organizations, Fonolo has also released free <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/fonolo/id348228086?mt=8">ITunes</a> and <a href="http://www.pcworld.com/appguide/app.html?id=382676&expand=false">IPhone</a> apps for which the single review (ITunes) is poor. While the original PCWorld review I read really interested me, after further research, I just don't think this software is ready for consumer prime time. <br />
<br />
I'd love to hear your opinions!<br />
<br />
~Admin.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-80731942961521160902011-06-19T09:49:00.000-05:002011-06-19T09:49:30.885-05:00Happy Fathers' Day!I wish I could see my father today.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmfJf0DysHe48EscDS4t1Wzl7J0mt5vfqG3-2c1c56yP8U0TzqL53nJ9vfzcK-m_1JuZ0OBfdCJrPuZZWbOJvZa50yK5ukSUJPOPUAgpi22Bh0g-a2nmT4MkAFpTO7_0KwIbHMgLh1_qV/s1600/I_love_dad.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmfJf0DysHe48EscDS4t1Wzl7J0mt5vfqG3-2c1c56yP8U0TzqL53nJ9vfzcK-m_1JuZ0OBfdCJrPuZZWbOJvZa50yK5ukSUJPOPUAgpi22Bh0g-a2nmT4MkAFpTO7_0KwIbHMgLh1_qV/s400/I_love_dad.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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Graphic courtesy of the <a href="http://www.animationlibrary.com/">AnimationLibrary</a>.<br />
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~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-64276152544061564562011-06-14T05:00:00.001-05:002011-06-14T05:00:10.960-05:00The Damage of Child Beauty Pageants<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" t8="true" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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This is the first time I've seen a non-hysterical critique of the phenomenon of child beauty pageants. Most of the time it seems like it's moon-bat crazy people throwing tantrums either for or against the concept. <br />
<br />
In this blog post Mary Jo Rapini, LPC discusses whether it's the contestant or the parent that is actually benefiting from the pageant experience. She also suggests better ways to help children learn the lessons they need to be successful people than crawling the beauty pageant circuit.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.maryjorapini.com/component/content/article/25/341.html">Beauty Pageants For Toddlers; Who Are They For?</a> <br />
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>I'd love to see your comments about child beauty pageants and Mary Jo's suggestions.<br />
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~Riot.Jane<br />
<br /><br />Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-46267864585415652472011-06-13T05:00:00.001-05:002011-06-13T10:55:19.351-05:00A Postcard from The Single (Mom) Life<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioiG5mW7Lqknwx6RWFX9KpNZ0g1lRFK9qxtI6Eb4h5_hFUi_1QSMb6TpQDZB4PTN-M2qhH3q84hWKSoa23DhI6hcDobflKEo3pugY8K4U-84WmLwe04pHlkZK3ocSPuTSNkFEJh-Jl7Jk6/s1600/Megan+DaGata.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" id=":current_picnik_image" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioiG5mW7Lqknwx6RWFX9KpNZ0g1lRFK9qxtI6Eb4h5_hFUi_1QSMb6TpQDZB4PTN-M2qhH3q84hWKSoa23DhI6hcDobflKEo3pugY8K4U-84WmLwe04pHlkZK3ocSPuTSNkFEJh-Jl7Jk6/s200/Megan+DaGata.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Megan DaGata</i></td></tr>
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I am not having a good day; it has been trying to say the least. There is still not much to do at work, so its always quiet. Which is a problem for someone whose mind is always on...I am constantly left to my thoughts. It makes the days long.<br />
<br />
The nights are so short though, and I don't get to think. I get home at 7 pm, and I try to get the kids in bed by 9. I am not happy. I only get to spend 2 hours a day with my boys. No sir I'm not happy! A mother's place is raising her kids, and I don't get to do that. Right now I am paying someone more than half my salary to raise them, and get frustrated when things aren't done the way that I would do them. I say something and it's like I haven't said a word, which only pisses me off more.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Last night was bad...I am talking horrible. My 5 year old forgot where his ears were and when I asked him if he wanted dinner he said he had eaten. Then after I eat, clean up, and give them baths he decides that now he is hugry...it was 9:30. Then he complained that his head itched, so I washed it with some head and shoulders because he has a little dandruff issue. He proceeded to kick, scream, bite, scratch and slap when I rinsed it out. He wouldn't lay back and let me pour water over his head to avoid his eyes so he stood as he chose and it ended up in his eyes because he opened them. I told him not to. As for the baby...the baby was crying when I picked him up and cried the whole evening. Off and on for two hours. Food, bottle, diaper change and a bath, I lay him down and all he wants to do is wail louder. I pick him up and take him into the living room and he wants to play with the forbidden items in the corner. 30 minutes of getting up every 2 minutes to remove him from that corner and I decide it is time to lay him back down. Finally he goes to sleep. I take the next hour filling out job applications for a job that will pay me more than I am paying the sitter to take care of the kids and then I go to bed.<br />
<br />
All of this leads to a bad morning. This morning I left my breakfast, my lunch, and the formula - at home. I didn't know this until 8:02...guess where I was at 8:02...sitting at my desk looking for breakfast and getting a text message from the babysitter asking if I really left the formula. I won't repeat the explitives here, but there were quite a few. As my desk is roughly 40 miles from my house, I had to see if someone else was home who could take the sitter the formula. Thank God for miracles my uncle was still home! He took the sitter formula and all is well there.<br />
<br />
That is not all on my 40 mile trek this morning I had a little break down. I cried for about 20 miles of it. I keep asking why things have to be so hard. Most of the parents of the world want to provide for their children, but to be the only parent providing for your children makes you want hate the person that chose the selfish path. We hate that they get to be free and have it easy and get to do whatever they feel like. It is not because we want to do that, it is just because you are the person handling all the problems that come up during the day, and wish for one moment a day you could be selfish...just a little because you deserve it. When I made more money my moment a day was a cup of coffee from Starbucks; on a particularly rough day maybe a cranberry orange scone. (I don't even get to do that right now.)<br />
<br />
As the single parent, your the one fighting with the older kid to listen and the younger one to stay still so they don't trail the poo all over the bed from the diaper you're trying to change. The single parent gets slapped and scratched because all you want to rinse shampoo out of a 5 year old's hair.<br />
<br />
I want to slap and scratch the partner in my journey who left us to handle the messy parts on our own. I want to scream at them horrible things because parenting is a two person job. Really adulthood is a two person job. There are going to be lots of people who disagree with me, but this is my arguement on why the first few millenia of human history had it right.<br />
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One parent should be responsible for the kids and the other for providing for the family.<br />
<br />
This is what life was supposed to be, this is why it takes two people to have a kid. A single parent is not enough, we try to make it work, but most of us don't do a very good job at handling the stress of two against one, constantly pulling in separate directions and none of them are your own. I was unemployed for four months...maybe a little longer, and the one thing that I discovered during those four months is that if you are there for your kids, they are there for you. They listen and respond and hear you when you give them directions. They are the kids on TV who do as they are told. In the 3 and a half weeks since I returned to work the only thing my kid listens to is the babysitter. The five year old doesn't hear me anymore and he thinks that I don't want to be home with him. He is asking why I can't take care of them anymore and my heart breaks a little more each time he asks. I try to explain, but it's not enough for him. I hope some day he will understand.<br />
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~<a href="http://megandagata.blogspot.com/">Megan DaGata</a></div>
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<br /></div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-47582980174803971022011-06-11T18:26:00.001-05:002011-06-13T10:54:45.656-05:00Facebook Friending and the Art of Profile PicsJust a thought here, fellow Facebookers . . .<br />
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<a href="http://failbook.failblog.org/2011/06/01/funny-facebook-fails-mystery-friend/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img alt="funny facebook fails - Mystery Friend" class="event-item-lol-image" height="1313" src="http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/funny-facebook-fails-mystery-friend.jpg" title="funny facebook fails - Mystery Friend" width="480" /></a></div>
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That is all.<br />
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~Riot.Jane<br />
<br />Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-37379692166582530602011-05-31T17:00:00.000-05:002011-05-31T17:00:02.571-05:00Westboro Baptist "Church" vs. the KKK<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" t8="true" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church">Westboro</a> <a href="http://kanewj.com/wbc/">scammers</a> were up to their <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/05/30/arlington.cemetery.protesters/index.html">usual shenanigans yesterday</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_day">Memorial Day (US)</a>, at <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arlington_National_Cemetery">Arlington National Cemetery</a>. The latest twist? <a href="http://knightsofthesoutherncrosssoldiersofthekukluxklan.com/Home_Page.php">The Knights of the Southern Cross (KKK)</a> responded in kind. <br />Westboro is, for the most part, a multi-generational family affair, with <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/05/hate.preacher/index.html">11 of the 13 people</a> in the second generation <a href="http://frijole.su/post/3446028824/westboro-scam">being practicing attorneys in the law firm </a> <a href="http://www.bbb.org/wichita/business-reviews/attorneys/phelps-chartered-in-topeka-ks-20475">Phelps Chartered, LLC</a>. <br />
<br />
What amuses me about the lawyering-up of the second generation is the fact that the <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/05/hate.preacher/index.html">State of Kansas Supreme Court disbarred the clan leader Fred Phelps in 1979 because of his "has little regard for the ethics of his profession."</a><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br />
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One of House Phelps' second generation told the press that her clan/church <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/05/hate.preacher/index.html">ekes out a living without taking money from anyone</a>, but doesn't say how. I expect that the (unsubstantiated) claim of the <a href="http://frijole.su/post/3446028824/westboro-scam">clan's $200K/year income</a> is the result of a lack of lawerly ethics. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://frijole.su/post/3446028824/westboro-scam">Intentionally creating a reputation for provocation and ruckus, then promptly suing the pants off of any possible person, group, jurisdiction, or other government entity that responds to said reputation</a> is their stock and trade.<br />
<br />
I'm actually schadenfreudingly pleased to see two such hateful but US Supreme Court free-speech case winners face off against each other. (I have to say that if such a thing was going to happen, Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery was certainly the place and the time for it.) While the Westboro/KKK event was, in fact, a non-event, I can't wait until ANOTHER group's counterprotest BECOMES an issue for Westboro.<br />
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~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-65724887254061564992011-05-30T11:17:00.000-05:002011-05-30T11:17:22.357-05:00In Honor of our Veterans (NSFW video)<a href="http://www.blogger.com/"><span id="goog_1347514796"></span>Full Metal Jacket<span id="goog_1347514797"></span></a> meets <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058536/">Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer</a>:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="510" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DNct8pff0KQ?rel=0" width="640"></iframe></div>
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~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-57836366161890332842011-05-26T05:00:00.003-05:002011-05-26T08:34:38.987-05:00QOTD: The Internet Breeds Entitlement<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" t8="true" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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Today's quotation:<br />
<blockquote>
The Web is truly customizable: You can listen to radios that play only your preferred tunes and read newspapers that cover only your favorite subjects. "We're used to having our tastes perfectly matched, whcih leads to entitlement," [Elias] Aboujaoude [author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Virtually-You-Dangerous-Powers--Personality/dp/0393070646/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306416835&sr=1-1">Virtually You</a>] says. If we don't experience novel things or sit through experiences we don't enjoy, we'll become a nation of spoiled, sheletered brats. <br />
<br />
Bartz, Andrea. "The E-Ego." <em>Psychology Today</em>. Jun 2011: 25. Print</blockquote>
<a name='more'></a>I've been saying this for years, but I've called it the "Info Bubble of Preference." In my mind, the information bubble that we surround ourselves with is like the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_Else%27s_Problem_field#In_fiction">SEP field</a>, only powered by the neverending supply of human <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance">cognitive dissonance</a> rather than a flashlight battery.<br />
<br />
~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-69642124860939331772011-05-25T17:00:00.001-05:002011-05-25T17:00:01.858-05:00Today in 1945: Arthur C. Clarke Invents the Communications Satellite<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" t8="true" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
If one particular man in history had died of polio as a child, you might not be reading this. In fact, I daresay that modern Western life would indeed be very different.<br />
<br />
On this day in 1945, Arthur C. Clarke began privately circulating his academic paper <em>The Space-Station: Its Radio Applications</em>. (.pdf-page 34)<br />
<br />
This privately-circulated paper and another published in <em>Wireless World</em> in October of the same year, <em>Extra-Terrestrial Relays: Can Rocket Stations GiveWorld-Wide Radio Coverage?</em> (.pdf-page 38), oth "discussed the special characteristics of geosynchronous orbit that would enable three satellites in that orbit to provide global communications." (.pdf-page 23.)<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>At a time when broadcast television was in its infancy, a physicist and sci-fi writer was envisioning global satellite communications!<br />
<br />
"For these insights, Arthur C. Clarke is frequently called the 'Father of Satellite Communications,' and there have been ongoing efforts to officially designate the geosynchronous orbit as the 'Clarke Orbit.'" (.pdf page 23)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://history.nasa.gov/SP-4407/vol3/cover.pdf">Logsdon, John M., editor, with Launius, Roger D., Onkst, David H., and Garber, Stephen J., <em>Exploring the Unknown: Selected Documents in the History of the U.S. Civil Space Program, Volume III: Using Space</em> (NASA SP-4407, ??)</a>.<br />
<br />
This man's creative leap 66 yearss ago reaffirm my conviction that we MUST find a way to stop stripping music, creative writing, art, and all other other integrative skills from our schools.<br />
<br />
~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-53244219905632725442011-05-22T05:00:00.001-05:002011-05-22T05:00:07.030-05:00Sexy Sundays | "The Morning After" the "First Time"<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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A blog post by Mary Jo Rapini, LPC, caught my attention. <a href="http://www.chron.com/channel/momhouston/commons/LoveandRelationships.html?plckController=Blog&plckScript=blogScript&plckElementId=blogDest&plckBlogPage=BlogViewPost&plckPostId=Blog%3aebfa36fd-9332-42bf-aaa9-3866fd743b2bPost%3a4a6ddb5b-0d01-4170-8084-c130f851cf86">How you feel about losing your virginity depends...are you a guy or girl?</a> begins with a discussion about the gender differences in the after-effects of the first sexual encounter as determined by a recent academic study (<a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WH0-504CNGT-1&_user=10&_coverDate=04/30/2011&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=gateway&_origin=gateway&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=a70318a730f1dd42830a240e04f7fada&searchtype=a">Body image and first sexual intercourse in late adolescence</a>) and winds up with with the author's own views on the same.<br />
<blockquote>
[From <em>How you feel</em>] The morning after can be difficult no matter if you are a guy or a girl, but it seems to be more difficult for girls than guys. A study from researchers at Pennsylvania State University reports male university students' body images improved after having sexual intercourse for the first time, while the opposite pattern was found with females. The study which was published in the Journal of Adolescents and reported on 100 students from the university between the ages of 17 and 19 years of age who had sex for the first time during their time at the university. </blockquote>
<a name='more'></a>Rapini outlines the study's paramenters, including that each subject's personal satisfaction with his/her appearance was assessed four times during the three year study. According to Rapini, the statistics show that the self esteem of females rose steadily throughout the study term until the point at which they had sex for the first time, then it declined. Conversely, the self esteem of males fell throughout the study term until the point at which they had sex for the first time, then it increased.<br />
<blockquote>
[From <em>Body image</em>'s abstract] These findings demonstrate that first intercourse can lead to changes in well-being, even if the transition takes places in late adolescence. In addition, they suggest that gendered cultural expectations regarding sexual behavior are associated with differing psychological outcomes for male and female adolescents.</blockquote>
<br />While the reasoning behind this is crystal clear to me without reading further, I actually can't read further because I don't have <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/">ScienceDirect</a> credentials. Rapini spreads the knowlege, though:<br />
<blockquote>
[From <em>How you feel</em>] The researchers had several theories about why girls felt so much worse about their looks after having sex and why guys felt better. It could be that after sex guys felt desired and accepted in regards to their masculinity and sexuality which is very important. Girls on the other hand may have felt worse because girls in general have more sensitivity with body image, and they feel more judged regarding their body after their first sexual experience. Girls may have felt confused about the reasons they had sex. They may have felt abandoned after sex. Girls may have also experienced more guilt due to society’s double standards. There is an underlying tone in the US that good girls don’t have sex.</blockquote>
<br />Yeah, I'm thinking the <em>wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-grab-your-hat-and-go</em> behavior of many young men regarding sex has to do with the measured loss of self-esteem. Nothing bolsters that double-standard message as much as a guy who, after getting some, either (1) doesn't want to talk to you again or (2) doesn't want to talk to you again unless it involves "quality time," <em>wink wink nudge nudge</em>.<br />
<blockquote>
[From <em>How you feel</em>] I have researched and surveyed girls to co-author a book for girls and moms regarding healthy sex. We learned that girls who are taught about their changing bodies, their sexuality, and how to keep their body healthy delay sex until they are mature enough to make wise choices in regards to sexual relationships. I am concerned when I hear parents say, “Let the schools teach my children about healthy sex.” Do parents really believe the school is going to teach their child about their own intimate bodies better than a parent could? Do parents depend on the school to teach their daughter about her menstrual health, her changing breasts, and body? What about her values and morals? Both of these will affect her relationships and both should be discussed within the family. </blockquote>
<br />I wholeheartedly agree with Rapini on this point, with one caveat. By all means, let the schools teach the science of procreation and puberty if you like, but if the schools aren't doing it, you'd better educate yourself and TEACH it yourself or your children won't know. <br />
<br />
Well-rounded sexual education involves science and psychology both, and not only as these apply to your own child's gender but to the opposite gender as well. You wouldn't build a house without a solid frame because a solid frame is imperative to a sturdy and long-lasting house. In the same way, a well-rounded sexual education is imperative to a healthy and fulfilling emotional life. <br />
<br />
~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-50824189797853202062011-05-14T16:55:00.000-05:002011-05-14T16:55:18.382-05:00Reason #9 I Love My Bestie<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Conversation had this past Thursday afternoon whilst planning the lunch where she would meet my boyfriend for the first time . . .<br />
<br />
<b>ME</b>: Okay, I have to ask you this because you're the only woman I could ever ask this of.<br />
<b>HER</b>: Okkkkaaaaayyyyyyy.<br />
<b>ME</b>: You have to not wear one of your plunging necklines.<br />
<b>HER</b>: Ummmmmmm, what? Oh. Okay. Sure.<br />
<b>ME</b>: Great, you're awesome, thanks!<br />
<b>HER</b>: Ummmmmmm, why?<br />
<b>ME</b>: My boyfriend's a total perv! And I want him staring at <i>my</i> chest, not yours. <br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<b>HER</b>: <i>Laughter</i><br />
<b>ME</b>: See, if he stares at yours, which he is <i>going </i>to do, then I'll just end up pissed at both of you for no go reason. I don't want to deal with that. So you<i> have</i> to do this.<br />
<b>HER</b>: Okay, but you know I have no head for how much cleavage I'm showing. You'll have to double-check me. <i>Laughter</i>.<br />
<b>ME</b>: You're the best! <i>Laughter</i>.<br />
<br />
~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-69162443312700723792011-05-11T17:00:00.000-05:002011-05-17T08:02:42.672-05:00A Crazy Woman in a Sporty Car<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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I recently had an interesting experience with a stranger in a strip center parking lot. This strip center is probably 50 years old (no exaggeration), and the parking spaces are quite narrow. The parking stops are actually integrated into the concrete in a large zig-zag pattern, not just lengths of concrete bolted to the parking surface (and therefore movable). As a result, the parking spaces are really not reconfigurable.<br />
<br />
I've visited this strip center often, as a friend works nearby and we've had lunch there on many occasions. As a result, I'm familiar with the narrow parking spots. I drive a small-model sedan, so the narrow spots hadn't presented a problem before the particular day I'm going to share with you. <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>On this particular day, my friend and I parked next to a dark-colored small-model sporty vehicle (I'm not a car-head, so I didn't notice much else about it). I opened my door gently so as not to smack the other car, and I exited my car. I shut the door and was walking towards the end of my car (what, 6 whole feet?), and the next thing I know a short woman is barreling out of the driver-side door of the sporty vehicle yelling something.<br />
<br />
<strong><em>"Could you be a little nicer to my car? I felt that all the way inside!"</em></strong> I finally realized she was yelling as she ran around the back end of her car towards me.<br />
<br />
"Ummmmmm, pardon me?" I asked as I stopped. She really was a little scary.<br />
<br />
<strong><em>"My car! Did you have to hit it so HARD? You rocked my whole car!"</em></strong> She yelled as she pushed past me trying to get closer to her passenger-side door. <br />
<br />
"Ummmmmmm, I wasn't aware I'd hit it," I said, probably sounding fairly stupid because I was confused. I really hadn't felt anything, noticed anything, and had actually noticed how close to her car I'd had to park before I opened the door.<br />
<br />
She stopped and stared at me as if I had Cthulhu on my head. <strong><em>"You can't be serious! I felt it inside, it was so HARD! How much DAMAGE did you do to it?!"</em></strong> she yelled as she bent over to peer at her passenger-side door. I bent over to look at the door closely, too. I could NOT figure out what this woman was going on about. <br />
<br />
She wiped the dust from her door with her hand. There was no mark. No dent. No nothing. I smiled and stood up, feeling satisfied. She stayed there a few seconds longer than I did, snorted, then stood up.<br />
<br />
<strong><em>"Well, I DID feel it inside! You should be more careful! You hit it so HARD!"</em></strong> she yelled. At this point, she could not have been closer than 3 feet from me, and she was still yelling about non-existent damage to her car door.<br />
<br />
"Well, I do apologize," I said as sincerely as I could because all I wanted was this obviously crazy woman to leave me alone. "I tried to open it without touching your car and was unaware I had. But, no damage done, have a good day!" <br />
<br />
She snorted again, put her hands on her hips, and yelled, <strong><em>"You should be more careful! You've VERY lucky!"</em></strong><br />
<br />
I wonder if I rolled my eyes. I tried not to. I just walked towards the restaurant with my heretofore silent friend in tow.<br />
<br />
I have to say that the very last thing I expected to see 45 minutes later when my friend and I left the restaurant was that same sporty car parked next to mine. Seriously, how stupid does someone have to be to completely bawl out a stranger for an obviously imagined slight to a car only to <em>leave that car in the same place</em> so that stranger could, I don't know, key it in revenge for being treated like crap for no reason? <br />
<br />
Don't think I didn't carefully consider it, because I did. My better nature won out, though. There's no need to make an obviously unhappy person more so. We just left.<br />
<br />
~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-31429161512278679892011-05-08T17:00:00.003-05:002011-05-09T19:04:17.933-05:00Sexy Sundays | 50% Off @ Adam & Eve! (Updated)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
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Use promotional code sexy28 for 50% off at <a href="http://www.adameve.com/">Adam and Eve</a>, plus receive free DVDs and a surprise mystery gift! (Seen on a television commercial.)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
They're also offering $10 off if you sign up for their newsletter . . . I have no idea if these two discounts will stack. It's worth a shot, right?</div>
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<br />
<b>Update: 05/09/11, 19:00 CST:</b><br />
<br />
The e-mail list $10 off is not stackable with the above 50% off discount code. I just placed and order, and here's what the discount code gave me:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>50% off one item</li>
<li>Free ground shipping</li>
<li>Free sex toy gift ($20 reported value)</li>
<li>Free adult video triple feature ($90 reported value)</li>
</ul>
<br />
Hell, I'm just glad for the 50% off of one item. :-)<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
~Riot.Jane</div>
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<br />
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</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-22261233633074035702011-05-05T15:19:00.004-05:002011-05-08T07:36:44.762-05:00Another Bill to Restrict Reproductive Freedom: HR 3 (UPDATED)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200px" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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I just received the following e-mail, and the topic is news to me. This is surprising because I'm usually pretty current on matters of reproductive freedom . . . More on this topic to come. <br />
<br />
This is not an advocation that anyone should contribute, it's just the method by which I learned of the existence of HR 3.<br />
<br />
The link in the e-mail: <a href="http://www.dccc.org/page/m/1d63cab1/1b83fc72/4a3c2f65/4e0ce84b/2346893725/VEsE/">http://www.dccc.org/page/m/1d63cab1/1b83fc72/4a3c2f65/4e0ce84b/2346893725/VEsE/</a> .<br />
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpoDU_csmx7gV8KBUgiuGfRgppCnpHk6glLVWZrVkKxAgYillT4sAgHBMXjQQeN0sR0AyJHe7i0a2ozseRHN4v8KoSftGZxbxsHwo94Jye9znQWk70kSDUOXhJ9EDCpmNKxt48X4R1tBWs/s1600/DCC+Email.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400px" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpoDU_csmx7gV8KBUgiuGfRgppCnpHk6glLVWZrVkKxAgYillT4sAgHBMXjQQeN0sR0AyJHe7i0a2ozseRHN4v8KoSftGZxbxsHwo94Jye9znQWk70kSDUOXhJ9EDCpmNKxt48X4R1tBWs/s400/DCC+Email.PNG" width="293px" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Click for larger version</td></tr>
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<b>UPDATE: 05/05/11, 19:25 CST</b><br />
<br />
The Library of Congress-defined summary of HR 3 can be found <a href="http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d112:HR00003:@@@D&summ2=m&">here</a>. In short, HR 3:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Forbids Federal funds paying for health plans that provide abortion coverage</li>
<li>Eliminates tax credits for out-of-pocket abortion expenses (such as itemizing on tax returns or reimbursement from personally-owned tax-free medical flexible spending accounts)</li>
<li>Prevents abortion service provision in Federal- and D.C.-owned healthcare facilities </li>
<li>Prevents Federal- and D.C.-employed healthcare providers from providing abortion services</li>
<li>Excepts the previous two bullet points in the cases of rape/incest or the risk of substantial harm occurring to the mother in the course of continuing the pregnancy</li>
<li>Gives Federal courts jurisdiction to prevent/redress violations of the abortion provision of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patient_Protection_and_Affordable_Care_Act">Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act</a> (such as accounting issues with insurance companies that provide abortion coverage participating in the <a href="http://www.naic.org/documents/committees_b_Exchanges.pdf">health care exchange</a>)</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patient_Protection_and_Affordable_Care_Act"></a>Designates the bureaucrat to receive/investigate/refer complaints regarding the previous bullet point: Director of the Office for Civil Rights of the Department of Health and Human Services</li>
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Why #1, especially with the post-PPACA <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/executive-order-patient-protection-and-affordable-care-acts-consistency-with-longst">Executive Order</a> clarifying and solidifying the act's adherence to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyde_Amendment">Hyde Amendment</a>, needed to be re-legislated is beyond me. I guess codifying yet <i>another </i>law that says that "abortion is bad, m'kay" makes them feel like they accomplished something. >eye roll<<br />
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The elimination of abortion service provision in and by Federally-/DC-owned healthcare facilities and employees is striking. What are female military service personnel supposed to do? Let's force that birth while we're smugly talking about how we don't treat <i>our</i> women like tribal backwoods nations treat theirs. w00t! Many healthcare workers don't have insurance, per se' -- they receive care from the facility at which they work. What are these women supposed to do? Apparently, visiting the competition is the "approved" option for them. <br />
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The removal of the ability to pay for abortion services with personally-owned funds is insulting and infuriating. "We're going to tell you what to do with your medical funds." What's next, you don't like my contraceptive pills? You don't like my Depo-Provera? You don't like my IUD? You don't like my tubal ligation? You don't like my hysterectomy? You think I jest, but I do not.<br />
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The anti-abortion fervor that has been growing in this country in recent years is the product of internalized and externalized religious dogma and its cultural progeny programmed morality. There is no medical reason why this medical procedure should be made difficult to obtain, stigmatized, or be illegal (and make no mistake: illegalization is their goal, here folks).<br />
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When someone talks about abortion rights, they are talking about the right of any individual woman to have a medical procedure without religious zealots, moralistic holier-than-thou types, or elected representatives from on-high sticking their nose into her uterus. The person who talks about fetal rights is talking about the government regulating every woman's procreative life and medical decisions in a ham-fisted, one-size-fits-all response <i>because we think what you think is wrong</i>.<br />
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The same people that scream at the top of their lungs about government intrusion on individual liberty and wasting government money when it's <i>any other topic</i> are the first ones to hop up and down and cry for more government intrusion on individual liberty and wasting government money when <i>this topic</i> arises.<br />
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If I said that I didn't want my tax money to be spent on foreign wars, Viagra, fertility treatments, or welfare for people who have more than two children, I'd be laughed out of town. "Suck it up, that's the way this country works," I'd be told. <br />
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If I cloaked those sentiments in religious/moralistic costume, they'd receive more credence. That is something that I detest about this country, that the separation of church and state only seems to mean that you can't overtly say something is motivated by Jesus or the Bible. Leave out those two words, though, and you're free to pass laws that trample everyone's liberty based upon "morality." There's no harm in <i>morality</i>, right?<br />
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Morality is like a penis: It should be shared with those closest to you who want to share it but should never be forced upon anyone. <br />
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We women are not children. We are reasoning, thinking, functioning adults who are fully capable of making our medical (and other) decisions without <i>your </i>morality shoved down our throats. We have our <i>own </i>individual moralities, so we don't need or want yours. When it comes to our individual bodies, our individual moralities are the <i>only ones</i> that matter. <br />
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Abortion is a legal medical procedure, and it's high time we as a society started treating and respecting as one. I will never stop fighting this fight because as long as it isn't, the message is "We have more rights to your body than you do." That message scares the crap out of me. <br />
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My body is sacrosanct to me, and <i>no one else</i> has say over it. There is no middle ground here. I won't rest until that message disappears, and every little brick (like HR 3) that makes the message a little stronger makes me fight harder.<br />
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~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-40937327475398874862011-05-02T18:21:00.000-05:002011-05-02T18:21:06.083-05:00Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish: Osama bin Laden<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
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Everywhere I turned today, people were jubilant that Osama bin Laden is dead. Watching news footage of the spontaneous crowds that gathered at the White House and in Times Square last night made me queasy. It made me the same kind of queasy that the videos of Arabs chanting "Death to America" did when we saw that footage years ago.<br />
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<i>I'm just not very good at processing that level of hatred.</i><br />
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Maybe it's because I'm an unapologetic Liberal, so my heart is a bit leaky. Maybe it's because I can't process a level of hatred I've never felt. Maybe it's because I'm not capable of that level of hate, so anyone who is seems like they aren't the same type of animal I am. Maybe it's that revenge (or justice, call it what you like) doesn't give me the boner that it does other people.<br />
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<i>A friend said to me last night after the President's statement, "Some people just deserve to die." </i><br />
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He was, of course, referring to the thousands of people who died in the World Trade Center terrorist attack. I happened to be unemployed at the time, at home watching CNN that morning. Most people weren't. Most people were at work, asleep, or away from the television when the news channels first began broadcasting live footage of first burning tower. People <i>think </i>they saw the second jet hit live, but most people are incorrect. Most people who found their way to a television set did so after the second jet hit the second tower. The news channels simply replayed the footage of the impact so many times that morning that most people mis-remember.<br />
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I don't mis-remember. I was watching the burning first tower in real time and saw the second jet approach in the background. I watched it descend and level off. I knew, before the announcers did, that it was going to hit the second tower. Color me aghast and traumatized as I watched that jet leave the frame and then re-enter it and crash into the second tower.<br />
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Because I was watching the drama unfold live from the beginning to hours after the towers collapsed, I saw unedited video footage as helicopters circled and and the press moved in too close for their own safety. In the minutes between the second airplane hitting the second tower and the first tower beginning to fall, I saw everything as it happened, before it could be edited and sanitized.<br />
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Those of us watching live, those of us who <i>did </i>see and hear the unsanitized version -- We saw close-ups of things and heard sounds that people who watched later rebroadcasts never saw. I choked on my own vomit when it dawned on me that those bundles of . . . <i>something</i> . . . were <i>human beings</i> jumping to their deaths to escape the unimaginable heat. I watched minutes and minutes of these sacks of . . . <i>something</i> . . . flying from the towers and landing with wet thuds, and the news people trying to figure out what they were. I was screaming, "They're <i>people</i>, God damn it, they're <i>people</i>!" The anger evaporated and I burst into tears when the announcer lost control and broke down as he realized the same thing. Apparently, no one told the helicopter pilots or cameramen to back off and give the dying their privacy, and we saw too much, too close.<br />
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I didn't lose anyone on 9/11. I didn't lose my job, or have health problems, or in any other way suffer a direct consequence from it in the way you think of when you hear "9/11 victims, responders, and their families." What happened to me was emotional. I was traumatized, and I was lucky.<br />
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The people who actually committed this act of unspeakable evil died within it. The man who masterminded it is someone we've hunted for a decade. Now he's dead. We've killed him and disposed of his body. As my friend said, "Some people just deserve to die." I don't disagree. With all of this said . . . <br />
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<i>God help me, I can't bring myself to be joyous over the intentional death of another human being, even if it was Osama bin Laden.</i><br />
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Relieved? Yes. Grateful? Yes. Avenged? Yes. Hopeful? Yes. Joyous? No.<br />
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I'm not saying that what we did was wrong. I'm not saying that what we did was a crime. I'm not saying that we should have left him alive. I'm not saying that we made a mistake. I'm not defending him, his motivations, his actions, or his organization. Hell, after 9/11, what sane American <i>could</i> say those things?<br />
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I'm saying that the news of the death of Osama bin Laden was a somber moment for me, a moment of remembrance for those who died on and as a result of 9/11, a letting go of a breath I wasn't aware I'd been holding. What I can't understand is why my co-citizenry didn't receive the news the same way I did.<br />
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Maybe it was a celebration for them because they didn't see people falling from the sky like bombs in real-time for a rather long time. I suspect such a thing changes you. I know it changed me.<br />
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~Riot.JaneJane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-55419158211188881462011-05-01T14:32:00.001-05:002011-05-01T14:34:24.902-05:00Sexy Sundays | Pulling a Rabbit out of the Hat<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riot.Jane</td></tr>
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Keeping one's sex life interesting over the long term is sometimes difficult. Reading and hearing advice can help, but sometimes advice is of poor quality, poorly understood, or poorly implemented. This can lead to bad experiences and devastating consequences.<br />
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The most common advice I've seen over the years runs along the line of thought of <i>Do something new</i>, <i>Surprise your partner</i>, <i>Step out of the same-old stuff</i>, <i>Introduce some variety</i>, et cetera. <br />
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While there's nothing inherently <i>wrong</i> with such platitudes as these, the practical implementation of them as suggested is fraught with danger. Let's examine the potential complications with specific examples.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Third Partner Surprise</span></div>
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Let's say that you and your partner incorporate role play and/or dirty talk into your lovemaking. Now, let's say that sometimes certain topics come up in the heat of the moment. One of these might be the introduction of a third partner to your sex life. The idea is hot enough to at least one of you that simply talking a bit about the idea during the session improves your lovemaking overall. Over time, this particular practice becomes part of a sex life that becomes a little routine, and you decide to seek advice in spicing things up a bit.</div>
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Pretty straightforward, yes?</div>
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So, you come across the advice above . . . specifically, <i>Surprise your partner</i>. The gears of your mind turn. You've always enjoyed talking about a third person during your sessions, right? How about amping up the excitement by introducing an <i>actual</i> third? Right on! So, a third is acquired without a discussion with your partner. Then, at just the right moment, the third opens the closet door . . . </div>
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"Who the hell is <i>that</i>?! What the hell?! Now I'm not enough?!"</div>
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Your partner wigs out, you are astounded by the reaction, and the third person is now highly confused and running for the hills. </div>
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As a co-admin of mine said, "Say whatever you want to to get me off, but don't actually <i>do</i> it. That's insane."</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Failed Beat-Down</span></div>
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Let's say that you and your partner incorporate spanking into your lovemaking. At the right time, it's and incredibly powerful way to throw one of you over the edge of "almost there" to absolute gut-wrenching orgasm. But again, over time, this particular practice becomes part of a sex life that becomes a little routine. Your partner decides to seek advice in spicing things up a bit.</div>
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In this case, your partner comes across the advice <i>Introduce some variety</i>. A few blue movies your partner has seen have included a riding crop. Hmmmmm, interesting. In short order, a riding crop is acquired and hidden under the bed. During the next encounter, your over-excited crop-hiding partner pulls out the riding crop much earlier than the spanking would usually occur, and you freeze and stare at it. </div>
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Seeing a riding crop in your partner's hand is a compete turn-off. That fast, that simple. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.</div>
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"Uuuuuuummmmmmmmm, no." Then you get up, grab your clothes, and get dressed in the bathroom as your naked partner stands outside the bathroom door trying to explain and apologize. Insulted and embarrassed, you're not listening . The last thing you can imagine is being naked with this person again. </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Talking and Incremental Change are Key</span></div>
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While well-intentioned, the above examples led to damaged intimacy, broken trust, and damage to the sex life that simply needed invigoration. Sad, really. Counterproductive at best, unrecoverable at worst. </div>
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Humans are at their most vulnerable physically and emotionally in the bedroom, and abrupt changes/surprises can cause shock, fear, and anger that the conscious mind has trouble reasoning through. Fight or flight can kick in, and when it's caused by the most trusted person in the world, that can cause a schism that isn't the easiest thing in the world to repair. Add the baggage that people carry from the past, and sometimes the damage is unrecoverable.</div>
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Generating incremental ideas and then discussing them with your partner outside of the bedroom is the way to avoid this pitfall. Doing this lets you gauge your partner's receptivity, let's your partner know that you're open to new things, and also lets your partner know what to possibly expect in the future. </div>
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After all, you wouldn't jump from the top of the mountain to the bottom, you'd climb. And if you were the guide, you'd talk your companion all the way down.</div>
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~Riot.Jane</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-58923172534430197152011-04-30T14:08:00.002-05:002011-04-30T14:10:32.599-05:00Honoring the Females in Your Life with GEMS<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Admin.Jane</i></td></tr>
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<i>E-mail we received from the Girls Educational & Mentoring Service (<a href="http://www.gems-girls.org/">GEMS</a>):</i></div>
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Mother's Day is quickly approaching!<br />
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As an annual celebration of the women and girls in our lives, GEMS invites you to upload your favorite photos of you and your mother, daughters, or other amazing, influential women and girls in your life. Share your photos and stories with us as we honor women this holiday! We set up a special Shutterfly page so that supporters can easily upload your photos: <a href="http://gemsmothersday.shutterfly.com/">http://gemsmothersday.shutterfly.com</a>.</div>
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<a name='more'></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC7mvR-81f2dhhQhx-8a-r-2fTWQtNWWuRuchSi-ny8UDLbP6O8Pop94hRJDFWbtsHT5-3PDyp_js_27PZCdoSQivhWCtarWHoSbv4OF3ZYPiMPn1Y68yqaDqca5rX06lD30XLIDpuF1z/s1600/GEMS-GANFSlogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC7mvR-81f2dhhQhx-8a-r-2fTWQtNWWuRuchSi-ny8UDLbP6O8Pop94hRJDFWbtsHT5-3PDyp_js_27PZCdoSQivhWCtarWHoSbv4OF3ZYPiMPn1Y68yqaDqca5rX06lD30XLIDpuF1z/s1600/GEMS-GANFSlogo.jpg" /></a>We will be making a supporter-generated music video with the inspiring song "This Is To Mother You," which features Martha B, Mary J. Blige, and Sinead O'Connor. The video will be released in time for Mother's Day! Check out the story behind the song here: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV7dRs3KYU0&feature=player_embedded">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lV7dRs3KYU0&feature=player_embedded</a>.<br />
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Supporters who participate in the photo contest will also have a chance to win a free, signed copy of Girls Like Us from GEMS executive director and founder Rachel Lloyd!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC7mvR-81f2dhhQhx-8a-r-2fTWQtNWWuRuchSi-ny8UDLbP6O8Pop94hRJDFWbtsHT5-3PDyp_js_27PZCdoSQivhWCtarWHoSbv4OF3ZYPiMPn1Y68yqaDqca5rX06lD30XLIDpuF1z/s1600/GEMS-GANFSlogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><br />
So, if you're thinking of a way to celebrate a woman in your life, send us your photos before May 5th!<br />
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~Admin.Jane</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-20750532702472289192011-04-26T05:00:00.003-05:002011-04-26T05:00:01.690-05:00Very Old and Very Sexy…An Oxymoron?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwChB6IBVaNqXDKZxwmd_wbjEOjVgNnkGdNZ4DlmlosKgFn8yk8MBHxoAJv95C1EixmDkjOrTb8B5NkRKAOMXs22JkjFccGvavNq9WX7n4uvVIsz4q56lNVK8WMzndmvrGt21rWauvCaMY/s1600/hattiehead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwChB6IBVaNqXDKZxwmd_wbjEOjVgNnkGdNZ4DlmlosKgFn8yk8MBHxoAJv95C1EixmDkjOrTb8B5NkRKAOMXs22JkjFccGvavNq9WX7n4uvVIsz4q56lNVK8WMzndmvrGt21rWauvCaMY/s200/hattiehead.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Hattie RetroAge</i></td></tr>
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There was a time when I would have judged that combination to be not only absurd… but totally repulsive. That’s no longer the case.<br /><br />What happened to turn that around?<br /><br />Here goes…<br /><br />When I was about five years old, my immigrant mother took me to the Steam Baths in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. Just a mere pre-schooler, choking in the heat, I peered up with disgust at what I perceived to be “fat, old ladies”. Then and there I decided if that’s what being a lady looks like, I’ll never grow up.<div>
<br /><a name='more'></a>Fast forward to when I did grow up and began to feel revolted at my own body.<br /><br />I realized that there was no way I could avoid becoming a woman, but I could certainly be thin and beautiful if I worked at it.<br /><br />And I sure as Hell worked at it!<br /><br />What followed was a magnificent bonus to my childhood dream to become a stunning woman. With the passage of years I became sexier and sexier. Of course, like most of society believes, I bought in to idea that aging would make me lose my beauty and that I’d ever again be desirable and desired.<br /><br />That didn’t happen!<br /><br />When I was 73, still gorgeous and fit, I received a call from a casting agency asking me to come in to pose for shoot for a Dolce & Gabbana ad wearing a bathing suit. I tucked a skin tight gold suit into my bag, hurried downtown… and VOILA… I was chosen to model for the ad.<br /><br />A few months later, I appeared in VOGUE, Harper’s Bazaar, W and Vanity Fair, sitting next to a 20 something hunk. Steven Kein, Madonna’s prime photographer had instructed the young model to hold my hand and look at me adoringly, which he did.<br /><br />Enter the 74 year <i>young </i>Cougar!<br /><br />From that point on I was touted as the Quintessential Cougar and starred in the Learning Channel’s series, “Strange Sex – Cougars and Cubs.” Since last summer, it’s been shown internationally about twice a month in countries from Russia to Peru!<br /><br />These days, I get offers from young men all over the world proclaiming their desire for older women. But, what’s so thrilling for me about this is not that I’m getting international propositions. It’s that young men are finally revealing their formerly hidden and even ‘shameful’ desire for much older women. And what’s more, older women are finally getting the respect (and sex) that they desire… and deserve!<br /><br />Very old and very sexy?<br /><br />You bet!<div>
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~<a href="http://www.holisticallyhattie.com/">Hattie RetroAge</a></div>
</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-18588553996893411702011-04-26T05:00:00.001-05:002011-04-26T05:00:03.041-05:00Generation -- The Repetition of Addiction<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXUaRnogMSO3temJIEDI3zabPg0LC2YcZlkUZHUbjLiptCzXXS5Od404dt1CA27esRFEDfDre-pLgfQvqEkiHD5vYsTlx3Ibv3I3wlknPfT9EiqO0G8Z-_7RZFIjCNqg1fZzgKKHNQyCg8/s1600/KarinLBurke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXUaRnogMSO3temJIEDI3zabPg0LC2YcZlkUZHUbjLiptCzXXS5Od404dt1CA27esRFEDfDre-pLgfQvqEkiHD5vYsTlx3Ibv3I3wlknPfT9EiqO0G8Z-_7RZFIjCNqg1fZzgKKHNQyCg8/s200/KarinLBurke.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Karin L. Burke</i></td></tr>
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<b>Generation</b>: Because the act of writing about my alcoholism turns out to be the act of writing about my father’s alcoholism, and recovery from my addiction is actually a recovery from his.<br />
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They say that. That alcoholism is a family disease. Give or take genetic tendencies, we are who we are because we are what our parents gave us. It is common to hear a drunk, or maybe even a normal person, say they swore to never be like their father while shaking their head and looking off into the distance. That gaze, that middle distance, turns out to be important. It turns out to be the thing we have to look at.<br />
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The middle distance made up of memory, emotion, faded photographs and recollections of kitchen tables, bedroom smells, old cars that no longer exist. Yet there is a split of discontinuity: the medical fact that alcoholism is a family disease is not the same thing as realizing, one morning, that your alcoholism was fully formed when you were six, that you chose your career and slaved 30 years of your life away because of a percieved slight you got as a teen, or that you married four successive disappearing men because your father never seemed to be listening to you even if said father is still there, still present, never divorced or left or hurt you; just sitting in his armchair listening to the baseball game on the same radio he had when you were a kid while you’re, now, a grown woman and trying to figure out what’s wrong with you.<br />
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The fact of a generational disease is an easy thing to take, intellectually, while being less obvious in the here and now. Because we want to believe in ourselves. The reality of ourselves. We want to believe that we’ve made choices, that we are aware, that we knew reality all along. To admit you’re less yourself than you are a mimic of your parent, that you have never lived in reality so much as a puppet show, can pull your self-confidence and balance out from under you like a rug. And it can be difficult to see how a gene, say, or even a bunch of conversations from your childhood, have anything to do with the present moment of the really here, here and now.<br />
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But the practice of attention, honest attention, to what shows up in me and life everyday has not only leeched over into the infinate generations of my niece’s life and the life after hers, but floats backwards, too. This is not to say we should live in the past, nor to argue for determinism. It’s just to say that any real attention to the present proves to have the past fully in it.<br />
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"It’s never to late to have a happy childhood," said someone. It’s usually implied that one can parent oneself, can experience joy and childish wonder and love of life just as well now as they could as a kid. But what if it means something else? What if it means we have this childhood, this history, this truth, that has been one way our entire life, and suddenly change our relationship to it? "Forgiveness," said a friend, "Is letting go the hope of a different childhood." Accepting, he means, everything that has happened exactly in the way that it happened. <br />
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Psychologically speaking, we tend to repeat a thing until we have resolved it. Uncannily so. The same types of persons will appear and reappear in our lives, the same problems with money, authority, sex, friendship, over and over until we earnestly do the work of growing through it. Until, in our subconscious level of being, we have fully accepted a thing as finished, learned, done, or right. Get as mystical as you want. Some say we literally invite or manifest our circumstances to us out of the cosmic drudge. Some say we simply see the same patterns, projecting our reality onto a pretty loose framework. <br />
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The Fourth Step [AA] begins a wild process of resolution. This is that script, that maturity process of learning life’s lessons. This is where we learn how to deal.<br />
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We cannot really accept a thing unless we actually know what it is we’re accepting.<br />
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But knowing itself isn’t the thing. Insight, sure. Self knowing. But the actual resolution is a thing that takes place in real time, in real life, on real human bodies. We have to experience the thing. Live it. We can’t feel the relief of a pain until we feel the pain, and then feel the joy of something different until we actually do a different thing. <br />
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I’ve always known that my dad was an alcoholic, and that alcoholism is a family disease. But I had to learn the lesson myself.<br />
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A week past, there was a single day that went through a strange retrospective of the seasons before resolving itself to a thundery dawn. Like the scenes of life flashing before a dying person’s eyes. First, there was a kind of balmy, yellowy stillness. The cattails nodded, and the telephone wires swayed, and a clutch of finches danced in the brush without any of it seeming to interrupt that larger feeling of stillness and immobility. Pewter gray clouds banked in the south, and eventually, a thin wind came from that way, too. <br />
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The afternoon happened, and the bank of purply grey clouds pulled closer, filling the sky like a pouring stain. The wind upped. All the trees and all the trees branches began to wave a little hysterically. There was a howling, moany quality that came and went. Then, rain began. <br />
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The rain quickly changed to thin flakes of snow, then needled points of sleet. Enough white came down that the distance disappeared for an hour or two. The spring things, a turned over garden, a running gutter of meltwater, the pockmarked ice on the pond and a tricycle, were covered in ashy snow. The wind lifted it and threw it about in a parody of a blizzard.<br />
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But the clouds bunched together, like muscle, and went from looking sheen and slack to something powerful and prescient. Inside, lightening flickered. The wind, still south, was warm and then seemed warmer, and the snow turned wetter, then wet, and then was gone. When dawn finally broke, the purple cloud rumbled and then cracked. The early light widened everything open again, and the earth seemed thirsty, and the first spring rain began in earnest.<br />
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It’s always this way. That there should be a struggle, the tumult before the calm, that life should be freshly caputured by each new generation and not simply handed down like the baby’s old clothes. <br />
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My father told me about alcoholism. I knew. And fifty million generations of humanity have known the experience of god, and grief, and resentment. But that’s what it means, to say the human experience is the experiencing of god: that we have to do it our own self. We have to learn the hard way.<br />
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~Karin L. Burke<br />
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<i>Wanting more honesty in the world, Karin named the blog that began from her personal letters <a href="http://www.whiskeyandporn.com/">Whiskey and Porn for Everyone</a>. Karin writes from her own experience as a drunk, a barmaid who danced for tips, an abused woman, a journalist anthropologist, and social advocate of all stripes. She's shamelessly trying to raise money for yoga certification, and the income it'd allow, but would like you to visit the blog because you might find something you need there.</i></div>
</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-42698660930272345672011-04-25T05:00:00.026-05:002011-04-25T05:00:09.114-05:00Having Coffee With The Lunatics In My Head<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Sometimes I wonder how many individual nutcases are loose in my head. Seriously, when I consider the things that I believe concurrently, many of them mutually-exclusive, I have to wonder when it was that I began renting out rooms in my mind and where all of that rent money is going. After all, it's not going up my nose or the pocketbooks of prostitutes, so I should have a really wicked savings account built up with the rent money from these freakin' lunatics . . . <div>
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<i>Oh, and by the way you lamers, the rent is due!</i><br /><br />Some of the things that I believe:<br /><br /><div>
<a name='more'></a>I believe in true love, love at first sight, and waiting on sex until marriage. I believe that true love requires dispositional compatibility, that opposites attract, and that there's nothing wrong with sex on the first date. I believe that life-long romantic relationships are both the most difficult and rewarding thing a person can have, and I believe that romantic relationships don't survive longer than twice the length of the crush-stage. I believe that chemistry is paramount, charisma is overrated, and that honesty is always the best policy, painful or not. I believe in social lies, charismatic leaders, and that interpersonal chemistry destroys the mind in a way that illicit drugs can't touch.<br /><br />I believe in predestination, free-will, deital omniscience, deital disregard. I believe that the landscapes of our lives are littered with intended obtacles and lessons before we're born, and I believe that every single choice we make changes everything that is to come. I believe in a personal god that loves me and who pays attention to my trials and travails, and guides me to the destinations best for me. I believe in a watchmaker god that created and spun us off without a thought to fend for ourselves, and who long ago forgot that we even exist. <br /><br />I believe that our gods birthed us, watch us, guide us, protect us, receive us when we die, and are worthy of our worship. I believe that our gods are nothing but personifications of our baser instincts and that we use them as lenses through which to filter out enough of the world around us to make what we see comprehensible. I also believe that we use our gods as explanations for what we cannot understand or abide. I believe that our gods are our own constructs and are therefore unworthy of our worship.<br /><br />I believe that portents and omens are real, at least the ones we recognize. I believe that time is a river, that it branches into a new universe every time a decision is made, and that the branched channels are close to one another until they branch again into yet more universes. I believe that our glimpses of the supernatural are nothing but a thinning of the wall between our universe and another, and that portents and omens are indications of upcoming important branches in the stream of time. I believe that sometimes we can sense the impending branch, the birth of a new universe, in the same way that a woman can sense the impending birth of her child before her water breaks or her labour begins.<br /><br />I also believe that time is a ray, a series of connected points that starts and never ends and never branches and that data doesn't pass farther than from one point to the next. I also believe that there is no such thing as time, that our perception of time is an artificial contruct of individual moments that our brains create to formulate a coherent picture, that every moment is unhinged from the next and only appears contiguous to us. I believe that there is only one universe, that we are in it, and that the things we think are metaphysically connected are simply the pattern recognition that once helped us recognize a snake in the grass but now simply distracts us from the tangible reality around us.<br /><br />I believe that we are responsible to each other, to ideals higher than ourselves, and to the social safety net. I believe that we are only responsible to ourselves and the concepts that we individually treasure, and that personal responsibility trumps fortune. I believe in the light at the end of the tunnel, that the sky is falling, that the sun will come out in the morning, and that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually an oncoming train.<br /><br />I believe in black hats, black helicopters, and tinfoil hats. I believe that a hacker is a tinkerer and a black hat is a criminal. I believe that modern government is sorely needed to protect the People from the corporational power that money and black hats bring, and that white hats are only white in comparison. I believe that modern government is over-reaching and impassive, and that its tendrils in our minds have taken us to the brink of a dystopian future in which we will be human commoditites instead of simply commoditized. </div>
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I believe that corportions have brought us individual wealth and national power, and I believe that corporations have enslaved us, that modern government springs from corporational pocket lint, and that we've passed the time the tinkerers can do anything but make a point. I believe that time is running out, that we have all of the time in the world, and that The Great American Experiment is timeless. I believe the my nation is in irrevocable freefall, and I believe that if we begin paying attention again, the People could once again regain control of the empire. <br /><br />I believe that aliens crash-landed at Roswell, and I believe in men in black. I believe that the men in black are Jack Bauer and Fox Mulder combined, and I believe that they investigate things and perform functions that the People would panic and riot about if they were known. I also believe that the government can't keep a secret because it's an organization composed of actual people. I believe the government has used aliens at Roswell as a false cover for top-secret military research and experimentation ever since, that the men in black don't exist at all, that they are another bit of misdirection used to keep us occupied and not paying attention to The Man behind the curtain doing the researching and testing at Area 51.<br /><br />I believe in ghoulies, ghosties, long-leggedy beasties, and other things that go bump in the night. I believe that there's nothing in the dark but the dark. I believe that our fears of the dark are remnants of our evolution that originally kept us safe but now cripple us in the night. I believe that without eyes that see well at night that I will never know the truth of this one way or the other.<br /><br />I believe in messages from The Great Beyond, and I believe in the human soul. I believe in the afterlife, in reincarnation, and in being judged for your intentions more than for your your actions at the end of this life. I believe that consciousness is a side effect of the cellular physiology of our brains, that this life is not a rehersal, and that when we die everything we are is snuffed out like a candle flame. I believe that this life is all we get, so it's the one that matters, and damn the consequences.<br /><br />I believe in the rewards of hard work, ethics, loyalty, and fair play. I believe that people with the slightest amount of power or authority will claim someone else's hard work for themselves, short-circuit external ethics, sacrifice your name on the altar of politics, and bugger fair play, all without a second thought, when doing so is to their advantange. I believe that the only opinion that matters is my own, that I'm the one who has to live within my own meatsack, and that it's my face I see in the mirror every morning.<br /><br />I believe that everything we see and feel is a joke, a dream, a simulation in grand computer somewhere we can't comprehend. I believe that everything we know is an experiment in a petri dish and that we're destined to be bleached into oblivion. I believe that this is all actually very real, that it is what we think it is, and the possibilities of that are the greatest mystery of all to me.<br /></div>
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~Riot.Jane</div>
</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-32404107029981355972011-04-24T11:26:00.000-05:002011-04-24T11:26:54.029-05:00Sexy Sundays | The Ins & Outs of Anal Sex (Part 2) (NSFW)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
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In our first Sexy Sundays post, <a href="http://janeproject.blogspot.com/2011/04/sexy-sundays-ins-outs-of-anal-sex-part.html">The Ins & Outs of Anal Sex (Part 1) (NSFW)</a>, MellissaY and JohnY introduced us to the topic. There's so much more information that's important to the topic, that we've decided to post a follow-up. While there is a wealth of information available in many places under many larger topics (anatomy, physiology, psychology, sexual health, etc.), we thought that gathering much of it in a single place would be useful to others.<div>
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The vast majority of the below has been means-tested in our own personal lives. It's gathered from years of reading on various related topics, and referenced by the only book I've seen on the topic: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Sex-Women/dp/1573440280/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303661497&sr=8-1">The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women</a>. More in-depth information on these topics (and some not even included here) are available in this book. It's a light read, but a good primer. Recommend.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Definitions</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><b>Anus</b>: The end of the digestive tract, the puckered opening of your butt, the "butthole"</li>
<li><b>Anal canal</b>: The area of the digestive tract immediately behind/prior to the anus, approximately 2" ong, everyone's shape is unique</li>
<li><b>Rectum</b>: The area of the digestive tract immediately behind/prior to the anal canal, approximately 6" long, everyone's shape is unique</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_sex"><b>Anal sex</b></a>: Manually stimulating the anus and/or rectum for physical pleasure</li>
<li><b>Anal sex - Rimming</b>: Using the tongue to stimulate the anus externally, often used interchangeably with analingus</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analingus"><b>Anal sex - Analingus</b></a>: Using the tongue to stimulate the anus externally and anal canal internally, analagous to cunnilingus, often used interchangeably with rimming</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fingering_(sexual_act)#Anal_fingering"><b>Anal sex - Fingering</b></a>: Using a finger or fingers to stimulate the anus and rectum internally and externally, analagous to vaginal fingering</li>
<li><b>Penetration</b>: Insertion of anything through the anus into the rectum</li>
<li><b>Lubricant (lube)</b>: Liquid applied to the anus, rectum, and other involved objects (digits, toys, penises, etc.) to make anal sex more pleasurable</li>
</ul>
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Lubricants</b></span><br /> <br />The anus and rectum are not self-lubricating, so lube is required for successful anal sex. Many brands are available at drug stores, discount department stores, and grocery stores (usually in the family-planning aisle). All are available online and by mail order. There are three broad categories of lubricant and brand names of different types:<br /><ul>
<li><b>Water-based lubricants</b>: <b>THIN</b>: Popular for vaginal sex, as they are the most similiar to nature vaginal secretions, similar in consistency to water. Can be used for anal sex: AstroGlide, Wet Light, K-Y Liquid (vagina-, anus-, and latex-condom safe).<b>THICKER</b>: These differ from the THIN in that they have a thicker consistency, similar to hair gel: K-Y Jelly, Embrace, Wet, ID (vagina-, anus-, and latex-condom safe)</li>
<li><b>Oil-based lubricants</b>: These don't dry out (unlike water-based lubes) and are therefore appealing for long-session use: Crisco, baby oil, petroleum jelly, and baby oil gel (non-vagina and non-condom safe)</li>
<li><b>Silicone-based (thin) lubricants</b>: These blend the benefits of water-based and oil-based lubricants in that they are usually thinner than oil-based lubricants, feel very wet, and don't dry out nearly as quickly as water-based lubes, and are easily refreshed with a bit of tap water: ID Millenium, Wet Platinum, and K-Y Sensual Silk</li>
</ul>
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<b>Notes on Lube Types</b>: Some people don't like water-based lubes because most of them contain glycerine, which becomes sticky when it begins to dry out. Oil-based lubes are much more difficult to remove with soap and water than water- or silicone-based lubes. Water- and silicone-based lubes don't stain fabrics, oil-based lubes have been known to stain. Silicone-based lubes are absorbed (harmlessly) into the skin during use and are quickly reactivated with a bit of water . . . So don't be another person who jumped in the shower only to find their silicone lube reactivated as they bust their ass. Reactivated silicone lube is more slippery than fresh, and it's quite easy to hurt yourself very badly on wet surfaces. <br /><br /><b>Never Too Much Lube</b>: The first mistake that anal-play beginners make is using too little lube. People who don't usually use lube (or use only a small amount) for vaginal sex consistently underestimate the amount of lube needed for anal sex. Whatver amount you think you need, multiply that by about six. Wasting a bit in the learning stages is far less traumatic than not using enough. Anal sex with too little (or, horror of horrors, NO) lube is incredibly painful. The anus, the area around the anus, the item/s to be inserted, and and the beginning of the anal canal should be VERY slippery before you even THINK of sticking anything in there. Trust us here -- There's no such thing as too much lube.<br /> <br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Sex Toys ("Marital Aids")</b></span><br /></div>
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All sex toys should be smooth, somewhat flexible, clean when used, cleanable (made of inert, non-porous materials), retrievable after insertion, realistic in size/shape/proportion to their intended purpose, and sanitizable (boiling, chemical disinfectants, or soap-and-water washing). These guidelines are especially important when discussing toys for the butt.</div>
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<ul>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttplug"><b>Buttplugs</b></a>: A toy made for the butt! They are made of various materials and they come in a wide range of sizes, but they all have an overall similar shape. They have a narrow end that flares to a wider section that abruptly shrinks to a small section capped off by a very wide base. Imagine a miniature Christmas tree. The narrow end enters the anus, the plug is inserted until the wide section is completely in the rectum, and then the anus closes around the narrow section. The very wide base remains outside of the anus as both a guard against "losing" the plug inside of the rectum and as a handle to remove the plug. <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d4/Zwei_unterschiedliche_Butt-Plugs.jpg/600px-Zwei_unterschiedliche_Butt-Plugs.jpg">Picture</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_beads"><b>Anal Beads</b></a>: Another toy made for the butt! This is a string of spaced beads made in a variety of sizes of various materials. The idea behind anal beads is that the strand is inserted into the rectum and then removed, one bead at a time, in a pleasurable way. <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/Analbeads.JPG">Picture</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo"><b>Dildoes</b></a>: Suitable for vaginal/anal use, these are also made in various sizes of a variety of materials. These are penis stand-ins, and are made in various shapes, some with a defined head and veins, some smooth and only as penis-like as a wooden dowel, and many variations in between. <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/93/Dildos_o_Consoladores_Nena.jpg/800px-Dildos_o_Consoladores_Nena.jpg">Picture</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vibrator_(sex_toy)"><b>Vibrators, hand-held</b></a>: Suitable for vaginal/anal use, these differ from dildoes in that they have batteries (or plug into a wall outlet) and vibrate. The intensity and wave-form of the vibrations are usually variable with a switch or dial. <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/46/Designvibratoren.jpg/800px-Designvibratoren.jpg">Picture</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_vibrator"><b>Vibrators, attached/butterfly</b></a>: These vibrators are not dildo-shaped. They are designed to strap on (or in some other way attach) on to the body, usually the clitoris. They usually have batteries. They can be used in the anal area but should not be inserted into the rectum because they are not designed for that. <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b5/ButterflyToy1.jpg/800px-ButterflyToy1.jpg">Picture</a>.</li>
</ul>
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Note on Toys</b>: NEVER use toys with multiple partners or across multiple sessions without sanitizing/disinfecting them in between sessions and partners. This can be accomplished with disinfecting soaps (least preferable but easiest), soaps made for cleaning toys, boiling, or cold-disinfection preparations (best option but pricier). <br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Barriers & Hygiene</b></span><br /> <br />Not allowing any toy or body part that has been in your rectum or anyone else's in your vagina is very important. This can cause <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelvic_inflammatory_disease">Pelvic Inflammatory Disease</a> (PID). Only items that have been washed with (at the very least) disinfecting soap and water between uses is safe. Alternately, latex/silicone gloves, finger cots, or condoms can be used as a barrier to cover toys and body parts so that the barrier can be removed once the activity is completed.<br /> <br />Do not use latex (toys/condoms/gloves/finger cots) with oil-based lubricants, only with water- or silicone-based because oil-based lubricants break down the latex and cause microscopic holes, at which point the item is useless for hygiene or bacteria-transfer prevention. <br /> <br />Also note that because oil-based lubes can be surprisingly difficult to remove with soap and water, they are not a good choice when planning sessions that will involve having to wash items or body parts between activities. If you can't get the item or body part clean with soap and water quickly, just say no or wrap it in a condom before applying the lubricant.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Sexually-Transmitted Diseases</b></span><br /> <br />In addition to unsafe sexual activities causing PID, which is <i>not </i>a <a href="http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_infection">sexually-transmitted infection</a> (STI), actual STIs can be transmitted via anal sex. These include anal warts, hepatitis, trichomoniasis, herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HIV/AIDS. One can contract an STI without vaginal intercourse or contact! As a result, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safer_sex">safer sex</a> practices are just as important with anal sex as with vaginal or oral sex.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Getting Started</b></span><br /> <br />The tissues of the anus and rectum are very fragile and are therefore easy to tear, break, and abrade. Fingernails should be short, smooth, and clean with hangnails trimmed. Toys and the anus should be clean. Copious amounts of lubricant should be on-hand. The bowels should be empty. If you prefer, you can self-enema, but don't do this any sooner than two hours before anal activity. During an enema, the tissues of the rectum absorb some of the enema water, leaving them engorged and even more fragile than usual. Within a couple of hours, the water will be absorbed further into your body and the rectal tissues will resume their normal characteristics. Also, relaxation is VERY important -- The day you're stressed out about being able to pay the rent or the week of the big presentation at work is not the time to begin anally adventuring.<br /> <br />If you're interested in exploring anal play but afraid/insecure/unsure, anal masturbation is one way to ease into the concept without embarrassment with a partner. Relaxing and exploring yourself in a secure environment will do wonders for yoru confidence level in trying something new with a partner. Use lubricant, and touch your anus, massage it, tickle it, push on it gently. Pay attention to how it feels, not what you're doing. Continue. Eventually insert the tip of a finger if you've become excited or liked other things you've done. You don't have to do everything the first time: you can work on these things, work up to these things, over several sessions if needed. The Western world's cultural baggage about anal anything is extreme, and that's something you might have to work through slowly. If it is, that's okay. You're by far not the only one. Once you're familiar with anal masturbation and have found a few techniques you like, you can introduce this to your partner with a bit of confidence.<br /> <br />Anal mastubation is particularly important if you've had a bad anal sex experience in the past. Too many people's first experience with it was when a partner unceremouniously jammed a dry finger into their anal canal or when a particularly pushy person who had no idea what he was doing pressured her into jam-the-penis-in anal sex because she was on her period. Not only does this simply hurt like hell, but it makes you feel like there's something wrong with you or wrong with anal sex. Neither could be further from the truth, but good luck convincing your body's memory or your subconscious mind of that. If you had a bad experience with anal sex in the past, try to make a conscious effort to forgive yourself, forgive that partner, and to recognize that <i>there is nothing wrong with anal play</i>. This may take some effort, and several masturbation sessions, but the possible payoff is well worth the effort. <br /> <br />If you and your partner haven't explored anal play together, it's imperative that you have at least one serious conversation about it in a non-sexual situation before you try. This avoids surprised or negative responses that damage emotional intimacy. Discuss what you'd like to do, what you don't want to do, how much you do or don't know about it, how much your partner does or doesn't know about it, etc. Be specific, and be direct. Yes, this might be the most difficult conversation of your life, but it's well worth the effort. <br /> <br />If such frank sexual discussion is outside of your (or your partner's) normal character, consider disccussing it in stages. Bring up the topic in general. Then bring up the topic again while expressing a bit of interest. Then bring up the topic and your interest agian, and slip in a general idea of what you might like to try (fingering, rimming, etc.). In this way you can either slowly overcome your shyness or guage your partner's response at each step, or both, and move through the stages in a way that is comfortable for you both.<br /> <br />After you've gathered your ideas of what you might like (either through masturbation, fantasy, porn watching, etc.) and have had at least one serious conversation with your partner in a non-sexual setting, it's time to introduce anal play into your relationship.<br /> <br />With a partner, beginning anal play can and probably should be part of foreplay, especially if you or your partner aren't experienced in the area. This can consist of touching, teasing, playing, vibrating, massaging, rimming, and other forms of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outercourse">outercourse</a>. Don't think you have to move from anything to anything. It might be enough to just touch the first time. Many people find anal play and anal sex an intensely emotional thing, and too much of any good thing too soon in the bedroom can leave negative associations, ruining long-term prospects.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Building Up</b></span><br /> <br />After everyone's excited and wanting to "get down to business," the time for insertion (of a finger, a toy, a penis) will arrive. Thoughts to bear in mind . . .<br /> <br /><b>Initial penetration:</b></div>
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<li><b>Penetrator</b>: Talk to and listen to your partner. Tell your partner what you're going to do or ask them what they want you to do (whichever is the norm in your sexual relationship). Give them time to respond or wait for acknowledgement (again, whichever applies to the two of you). </li>
<li><b>Penetrator</b>: Allow your partner to take the lead -- Your partner is the one that is on the receiving end of a good, mediocre, or bad experience. Let them drive the action, and you'll both be much more likely to have a good time.</li>
<li><b>Receptor</b>: Tell your partner what you want. Tell your partner what feels good, what doesn't feel good, what is progressing too quickly and what is progressing too slowly. </li>
<li><b>Receptor</b>: Take the lead -- You're the one on the receiving end, and if your partner is considerate, your partner will allow you to learn as you go. No one can read your mind and tell how you want to be fucked in the ass, so don't leave it to your partner to try to figure it out. This is a recipe for disaster.</li>
<li><b>Both Partners</b>: Start slow and work up to things, especially while you're still learning what you like and what you don't. Talk during the action. This is imperative.</li>
<li><b>Both Partners</b>: If anything that originally felt good begins to feel bad . . . Think: Lube.</li>
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Later penetration:</b></div>
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<b></b>Just because you've explored a little and learned a few things about yourself and your partner, don't over-estimate tolerances and go hog-wild on that butt. Even those experienced in anal sex don't just go right to penis-in-the-rectum action. </div>
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<br />Each session should start slowly and work up. How slowly to start and how quickly to work up will be unique to each couple. You'll have to learn it. Err on the side of slow, and you're both more likely to enjoy yourselves.</div>
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<br /><b>Withdrawal:</b></div>
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<br />Removing anything from the anus/rectum should be done slowly and gently. You were smart enough to not just jam it in there originally, so don't just yank it out!</div>
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<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Orgasm</b></span><br /> <br />Some women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm via vagainal and anal stimulation, some do not. Some require clitoral stimulation with just one form of vaginal/anal sex and not the other. There's a ring of muscles and nerves around the anus and vagina (including the clitoris) in the shape of a figure-8. This is called the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pubococcygeus_muscle">PC Muscle Group</a>. This muscle are important for a range of reasons, and is imperative to the female orgasm and is the reason why some women can orgasm from just anal or just vaginal stimulation. While the clitoris is indeed the most nerve-rich area in the PC Muscle Group, some women find, after experimentation, that their anus is just as sensitive.<br /> </div>
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<br />Anal sex, when properly done, should not hurt. If it does, you're doing something wrong! The two culprits for this are usually (1) not enough lube and (2) progressing insertion faster than appropriate. Your anus and rectum need a bit of time to adjust and stretch, and this amount of time varies from person to person. </div>
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If something hurts right off the bat, too-fast a progression is likely the culprit. Slow down and back off to an earlier point. If something that was feeling good is now beginning to hurt, too-little lube is likely the cause. Pause, and reapply copious amounts. <br /> </div>
<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Outcome</b></span><br /> <br />What happens if, after all of this effort and work, you figure out that you just aren't going to fall in love with anal play? That's both possible and acceptable. Everyone has their own tastes and appetites as well as things they don't appreciate. We think it's worth the effor to actually find out if you like it properly done, though, instead of simply guessing, judging from a previous bad experience, or going with societal baggage. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!</div>
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~Riot.Jane</div>
</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-26094800638576591442011-04-23T05:00:00.000-05:002011-04-23T05:00:06.057-05:00Ad Vocabulary Re-Enforcing Gender Stereotypes<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Riot.Jane</em></td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.achilleseffect.com/about/about-the-author/">Crystal Smith</a>, author of <a href="http://www.achilleseffect.com/about/synopsis-of-the-achilles-effect/">The Achilles Effect</a>, blogs about the the impact of kids’ popular culture on young boys becuase she has been regularly disappointed by the film and television offerings available to her two young sons.<br />
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She has <a href="http://www.achilleseffect.com/2011/03/word-cloud-how-toy-ad-vocabulary-reinforces-gender-stereotypes/">analyzed the incidences of words</a> used in advertising toys for boys and girls during after-school cartoon blocks. She discussed this a bit in her book, but now she has tranfsormed the collated data into wordclouds. <br />
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While admitting that this is not an exhaustive study, she finds the graphical representation quite interesting and a place to begin a discussion. I agree.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/3372921/Words_Used_to_Advertise_Boys%27_Toys" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Wordle: Words Used to Advertise Boys' Toys"><img alt="Wordle: Words Used to Advertise Boys' Toys" height="158" src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/3372921/Words_Used_to_Advertise_Boys%27_Toys" style="border-bottom: #ddd 1px solid; border-left: #ddd 1px solid; border-right: #ddd 1px solid; border-top: #ddd 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Word incidences in boy-toy ads</em></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/3372936/Words_Used_in_Advertising_for_Girls%27_Toys" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Wordle: Words Used in Advertising for Girls' Toys"><img alt="Wordle: Words Used in Advertising for Girls' Toys" height="158" src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/3372936/Words_Used_in_Advertising_for_Girls%27_Toys" style="border-bottom: #ddd 1px solid; border-left: #ddd 1px solid; border-right: #ddd 1px solid; border-top: #ddd 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>Word incidences girl-toy ads</em></td></tr>
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Seriously? Wow.</div>
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See her <a href="http://www.achilleseffect.com/2011/03/word-cloud-how-toy-ad-vocabulary-reinforces-gender-stereotypes/">post</a> for more information on her data collection methodology and her response to the two largest points of criticism she's received regarding the experiment.</div>
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The question in my mind is -- Is this vivid display of word usage a cause of gender-stereotype programming or is it simply the result of it? </div>
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</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2856183675984986909.post-48077602657173170652011-04-22T05:00:00.000-05:002011-04-22T06:11:17.026-05:00Who Can Become an Addict?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s1600/Riot.Jane.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBPVLFw8eBaEVX0gZqgwUQ3xEPZAs223CrDMDW2B10grj9G8sG5svNKeRy1cuEIXXY5wRttzf35wvw_k7BgqO0eExH0Ld9BM8LnqtS7n0HZY5OtIzq-O_MoU-YS_5luSGBFIx_mXMimTdZ/s200/Riot.Jane.png" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Riot.Jane</i></td></tr>
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In <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Compass-Pleasure-Exercise-Marijuana-Generosity/dp/0670022586/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1303052075&sr=1-1">Compass of Pleasure: How Our Brains Make Fatty Foods, Orgasm, Exercise, Marijuana, Generosity, Vodka, Learning, and Gambling Feel So Good</a>, brain scientist and neuroscience professor at Johns Hopkins University David J. Linden, PhD, describes the physiological processes of how the human brain reacts to different types of pleasure. He's found that the effects of both our vices and our virtues are virtually indistinguishable within the brain.<br />
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In an <a href="http://www.salon.com/books/int/2011/04/16/compass_of_pleasure_interview/index.html">interview</a> with <a href="http://www.salon.com/">Salon</a>, he briefly discusses the biological causes vs. societal reactions to addiction. A particularly striking paragraph (emphasis mine):</div>
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In spite of the oft-stated idea that "addiction is a disease" we don't treat it as such. We lock folks up for simple possession and usually fail to offer them medical treatment. The biological basis of pleasure tells us that we must be compassionate towards addicts. <b>Given the right situation, genes, stress, life experiences, anyone -- and I do mean anyone -- can become an addict.</b> We humans are very invested in the idea that we have absolute free will in all things, and it's very threatening to us to imagine that there are these strong subconscious forces [biology/physiology] compelling our behavior, but there are. This is scary in a deep and profound way.</blockquote>
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I find it refreshing to see a thoroughly educated person, one whose life goal is to further human understanding of our physical selves, to slam the way our society reacts to addicts, draw attention to the fact that addiction can happen to anyone, and to point out the reason society reacts so negatively to addicts is that <a href="http://janeproject.blogspot.com/2011/04/victim-blaming-part-2-reasons-we-do-it.html">we have to blame the victim in order to feel more secure ourselves</a>. </div>
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Too many people are unaware or unwilling to understand the truth of addiction, so we treat them as criminals. Our entire society suffers as a result. </div>
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~Riot.Jane</div>Jane Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08202046951428685531noreply@blogger.com0