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| Riot.Jane |
This is not an advocation that anyone should contribute, it's just the method by which I learned of the existence of HR 3.
The link in the e-mail: http://www.dccc.org/page/m/1d63cab1/1b83fc72/4a3c2f65/4e0ce84b/2346893725/VEsE/ .
Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rape. Show all posts
Another Bill to Restrict Reproductive Freedom: HR 3 (UPDATED)
This is not an advocation that anyone should contribute, it's just the method by which I learned of the existence of HR 3.
The link in the e-mail: http://www.dccc.org/page/m/1d63cab1/1b83fc72/4a3c2f65/4e0ce84b/2346893725/VEsE/ .
Victim-Blaming Part 2: The Reasons We Do It
In Victim-Blaming Part 1: Texas Gang Rape of a Child, we discussed the facts around the case of a gang-raped 11-year-old girl in Cleveland, TX. We touched upon the victim-blaming of the 11-year-old victim that is occurring in the press and among the local populace, and we reminded readers of the case of Samantha Kelly, who died by suicide Nov. 8, 2010 after being terrorized by her town and schoolmates. The Kelly case is pertinent to this discussion of victim-blame because that assault, victim-blame, and suicide occurred between the Cleveland girl's first and final assaults.
Victim-Blaming Part 1: Texas Gang-Rape of a Child
In Cleveland, Texas, 19 suspects have been charged in the sexual assault of an 11-year-old child. While heartbreaking, this is not earth-shattering news. All too often, we hear of things like this and shake our heads, and maybe some of us say a prayer for the victim.
The details of this particular case are particularly noteworthy.
This child was assaulted repeatedly over the course of six weeks in late 2010 by different individuals/groups at different times in different locations. The perpetrators ranged in age from 14 to 27. Cell-phone-recorded video and photographs were widely disseminated to non-participants.
The details of this particular case are particularly noteworthy.
This child was assaulted repeatedly over the course of six weeks in late 2010 by different individuals/groups at different times in different locations. The perpetrators ranged in age from 14 to 27. Cell-phone-recorded video and photographs were widely disseminated to non-participants.
Alcoholic Insanity (Different than you probably think)
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| Karin L. Burke |
"You have to give this away," the friend said, "This is what you needed to hear when you were getting sober. This is what you needed when you were trying to leave that abusive *****. This is what I've needed, at so many points in my life. You have to give this away. It isn't yours to keep."
(More of Karen's bio at the end of post, after the jump.)
We are flattered that she has chosed to share some of her experience with the special insanity of alchoholism with us.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The only thing there is to say," said another recovering drunk, "Is that alcoholic insanity is the mistaken belief that ‘this time it will be different’; it doesn’t have anything to do with ‘insanity’ in the way most people would use the word. It’s just that one simple thing: we keep drinking, thinking this time we’ll stay in control."
The word ‘insanity’ as used by Bill Wilson was supposed to mimic Einstein’s definition, or doing the same thing expecting different results.
Girl Dies by Suicide After Rape-Allegation-Related Terror
A fourteen-year-old Michigan girl died by suicide November 8 after schoolmates bullied her due to a rape allegation involving her and an 18-year-old schoolmate.
The only things that are truly clear at this point are:
Tarnopolski says he feels "a little bit" bad about Kelly's suicide but that her parents are responsible, not him. Justice says that she encouraged her daughter to speak to the police about the incident to prevent emotional suffering caused by bottling up a rape.
Tarnopolski says that he's not the one who disregarded a confidentiality agreement he and Kelly were going to sign that would kept the event quiet, protecting them both. I can't find a reference to Justice acknowleding a confidentiality agreemnet was arranged.
Justice does say she and her daughter approached the media because Kelly was being terrorized by neighbors and classmates and they couldn't get help anywhere else. Tarnopolski said he was unaware of any maltreatment until after the news broadcast, but that even afterwards neither he nor his friends terrorized Kelly.
Justice's reaction to the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office dropping the case against Tarnopolski, from a local news broadcast:
Another report from a local news outlet, this one includes a brief interview with Tarnopolski:
A local news outlet's longer interview with Tarnopolski and his attorney:
Even though I've had a first-hand taste of the battle Kelly was fighting (topic for another post) . . . After reading the articles linked at the end of this post and after watching the videos above -- especially the interview with Tarnopolski and his attorney -- I was almost, almost, just this close to giving Tarnopolski the benefit of the doubt, extremely poor judgement and suicide girl notwithstanding.
Then I found out that another, similar, criminal complaint involving another underaged girl was filed against Tarnopolski two days after Justice and Kelly were interviewed by a local news station about the harrassment.
Think about that for a minute: Two days after a victim publizes the unimaginable level of harrassment that would soon drive her to suicide, another underaged girl comes forward to say something to the effect of "I, too, was raped by Joseph Tarnopolski"?
Local police have referred the second case to the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office which isn't releasing any information except they're processing it. Tarnopolski has since withdrawn from school due to threatening e-mails that have left his family afraid to leave their home.
To think I was ready to give this speaking filth the benefit of the doubt! This piece of gangrenous humanity is only 18, and it's already clear that he's a victimizer, a predator.
Here's where I'm reduced to a lesser person than I aspire to be most days, but so be it . . . I am glad that his tormentors have caused him to leave school. I am fucking overjoyed that his family is afraid to leave their home. Honestly, I hope that, after he is imprisoned, they have to move a thousand miles away and change their family name to escape what he's done. Justice has a dead daughter, so the Tarnopolski's would still be better off.
I desperately hope the other girl can find the strength within herself to stand proud, and to say it loud, that "I, too, was raped by Joseph Tarnopolski!"
A memorial to Kelly, created by a friend:
Additional sources used as background for this post:
The only things that are truly clear at this point are:
- Samantha Kelly, 14, had sex with Joseph Tarnopolski, 18, at his home on September 26.
- June Justice, Kelly's mother, filed a criminal complaint with the local police department.
- Local police interviewed both Kelly and Tarnopolski.
- Kelly's statements changed over time - at one point she said she was a willing participant, at another she said she was coerced.
- The police arrested Tarnopolski for third-degree criminal sexual conduct (regardless of Kelly's mindset, she was too young to legally consent), then released him on bail.
- Tarnopolski then Tweeted to his classmates that "All girls are, are liars and backstabbers! I hate you all. Way to ruin my life. Seriously, now this will be on my record for life!"
- Neighbors and students divided themselves along pro-Kelly and pro-Tarnopolski lines and the latter faction terrorized Kelly.
- Justice and Kelly approached the media to protest/publicise Kelly's maltreatment by schoolmates and neighbors. During this interview, Kelly's face was obscured but Justice's was not.
- Kelly's maltreatment intensified.
- Kelly scrawled a note on her bedroom wall, the date of the of the sexual event, then hung herself in her family's mobile home on November 8.
Tarnopolski says he feels "a little bit" bad about Kelly's suicide but that her parents are responsible, not him. Justice says that she encouraged her daughter to speak to the police about the incident to prevent emotional suffering caused by bottling up a rape.
Tarnopolski says that he's not the one who disregarded a confidentiality agreement he and Kelly were going to sign that would kept the event quiet, protecting them both. I can't find a reference to Justice acknowleding a confidentiality agreemnet was arranged.
Justice does say she and her daughter approached the media because Kelly was being terrorized by neighbors and classmates and they couldn't get help anywhere else. Tarnopolski said he was unaware of any maltreatment until after the news broadcast, but that even afterwards neither he nor his friends terrorized Kelly.
Justice's reaction to the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office dropping the case against Tarnopolski, from a local news broadcast:
Another report from a local news outlet, this one includes a brief interview with Tarnopolski:
A local news outlet's longer interview with Tarnopolski and his attorney:
Even though I've had a first-hand taste of the battle Kelly was fighting (topic for another post) . . . After reading the articles linked at the end of this post and after watching the videos above -- especially the interview with Tarnopolski and his attorney -- I was almost, almost, just this close to giving Tarnopolski the benefit of the doubt, extremely poor judgement and suicide girl notwithstanding.
Then I found out that another, similar, criminal complaint involving another underaged girl was filed against Tarnopolski two days after Justice and Kelly were interviewed by a local news station about the harrassment.
Think about that for a minute: Two days after a victim publizes the unimaginable level of harrassment that would soon drive her to suicide, another underaged girl comes forward to say something to the effect of "I, too, was raped by Joseph Tarnopolski"?
Local police have referred the second case to the Wayne County Prosecutor's Office which isn't releasing any information except they're processing it. Tarnopolski has since withdrawn from school due to threatening e-mails that have left his family afraid to leave their home.
To think I was ready to give this speaking filth the benefit of the doubt! This piece of gangrenous humanity is only 18, and it's already clear that he's a victimizer, a predator.
Here's where I'm reduced to a lesser person than I aspire to be most days, but so be it . . . I am glad that his tormentors have caused him to leave school. I am fucking overjoyed that his family is afraid to leave their home. Honestly, I hope that, after he is imprisoned, they have to move a thousand miles away and change their family name to escape what he's done. Justice has a dead daughter, so the Tarnopolski's would still be better off.
I desperately hope the other girl can find the strength within herself to stand proud, and to say it loud, that "I, too, was raped by Joseph Tarnopolski!"
A memorial to Kelly, created by a friend:
Additional sources used as background for this post:
- Rape Case Dropped Following Samantha Kelly's Suicide
- Joe Tarnopolski Talks with FOX 2's Taryn Asher
- Alleged Rape Victim, 14, Taunted, Kills Self
- Rape Charge Against Huron High School Teen Dropped After Classmate's Suicide
~Riot.Jane
A Joe’s Take on Treating Child Sexual Abusers
I was a boy, and I was sexually abused in my family from the age of 11 or 12 to nearly 20. As a result, I might have a different perspective on how we should deal with abusers.
Zero tolerance, as expressed in most law, is an attempt by well-meaning legislators to capture that rarity which is the full-on pedophile. In that sense I say go for it and get those people into some kind of treatment.
The problem arises in that as disgusting as kiddy porn is, it's an after-the-fact response, sometimes years or decades after. By then it's far too late to help the child in question.
Then, of course, there's nations like Thailand who nod and wink as organized child abuse is traded on to increase tourist traffic. I don't buy for an instant that authorities in Thailand don't know who is running and controlling this appalling business or are completely unable to do anything about it. Mind you, it does draw true pedophiles as well as those who have fantasies. (And no, I don't understand what might cause those fantasies but as long as they aren't acted on I see no need to hunt those people down.)
The problem, as I said, with kiddie porn is that a response to it is after-the-fact rather than preventative.
As I said in my previous post, most abusers were abused themselves as children and come from within the circle of trusted adults and then, most often, from parents. To attack this head-on means exploding the myth of the nuclear family as some sort of perfect construction for the making and raising of children. In the United States and, to a lesser degree in Canada and Europe, this is well-ingrained and very well-defended.
Of course, there are professions that DO attract pedophiles and those who are in danger of repeating what happened to them. In no particular order they tend to be caring professions such as medicine, teaching, the clergy, therapists, police, coaching and, well, I'll let the reader complete the list. Any profession or trade that brings the pedophile in to near-constant contact with children where they can establish a trusted and trusting relationship with the child and its parents.
Each profession closes ranks around offenders, or has a history of that. The most obvious, for now, being the Roman Catholic Church. They're far from the only ones, though.
And each of these professions is surrounded by a mythology all their own, created by Hollywood or by themselves as wonderful, caring people who genuinely want to help their young charges and in the vast majority of cases they are. But amongst the angels there are devils.
So it means attacking the unattackable symbols of our society/civilization and I don't know of a single politician willing to take that one on.
Sending someone with a few pictures of child porn on their hard drive to jail for 10 years is akin to sending someone to the same jail for 10 years because they have an ounce or two of pot in their possession. In the former you aren't, in all likelihood, busting a true pedophile just as much as in the latter you haven't busted a dealer.
What abusers like my father needed and still need, and this is potential and actual abusers of both genders, is caring, non-judgmental treatment for exactly the reason I stated. They are very likely to be victims of abuse themselves and know no other way of expressing great affection. Jail isn't the place for that.
The true pedophile, on the other hand, really ought to be locked away in the same place we put psychopaths and sociopaths because they're another chip off of that self same block.
And then, we ourselves, need to look on those at the lower ends of society's rungs as what they most often are the outer grown up shell of shattered children who never, ever chose the life they now lead.
~TtfnJohn
Zero tolerance, as expressed in most law, is an attempt by well-meaning legislators to capture that rarity which is the full-on pedophile. In that sense I say go for it and get those people into some kind of treatment.
The problem arises in that as disgusting as kiddy porn is, it's an after-the-fact response, sometimes years or decades after. By then it's far too late to help the child in question.
Then, of course, there's nations like Thailand who nod and wink as organized child abuse is traded on to increase tourist traffic. I don't buy for an instant that authorities in Thailand don't know who is running and controlling this appalling business or are completely unable to do anything about it. Mind you, it does draw true pedophiles as well as those who have fantasies. (And no, I don't understand what might cause those fantasies but as long as they aren't acted on I see no need to hunt those people down.)
The problem, as I said, with kiddie porn is that a response to it is after-the-fact rather than preventative.
As I said in my previous post, most abusers were abused themselves as children and come from within the circle of trusted adults and then, most often, from parents. To attack this head-on means exploding the myth of the nuclear family as some sort of perfect construction for the making and raising of children. In the United States and, to a lesser degree in Canada and Europe, this is well-ingrained and very well-defended.
Of course, there are professions that DO attract pedophiles and those who are in danger of repeating what happened to them. In no particular order they tend to be caring professions such as medicine, teaching, the clergy, therapists, police, coaching and, well, I'll let the reader complete the list. Any profession or trade that brings the pedophile in to near-constant contact with children where they can establish a trusted and trusting relationship with the child and its parents.
Each profession closes ranks around offenders, or has a history of that. The most obvious, for now, being the Roman Catholic Church. They're far from the only ones, though.
And each of these professions is surrounded by a mythology all their own, created by Hollywood or by themselves as wonderful, caring people who genuinely want to help their young charges and in the vast majority of cases they are. But amongst the angels there are devils.
So it means attacking the unattackable symbols of our society/civilization and I don't know of a single politician willing to take that one on.
Sending someone with a few pictures of child porn on their hard drive to jail for 10 years is akin to sending someone to the same jail for 10 years because they have an ounce or two of pot in their possession. In the former you aren't, in all likelihood, busting a true pedophile just as much as in the latter you haven't busted a dealer.
What abusers like my father needed and still need, and this is potential and actual abusers of both genders, is caring, non-judgmental treatment for exactly the reason I stated. They are very likely to be victims of abuse themselves and know no other way of expressing great affection. Jail isn't the place for that.
The true pedophile, on the other hand, really ought to be locked away in the same place we put psychopaths and sociopaths because they're another chip off of that self same block.
And then, we ourselves, need to look on those at the lower ends of society's rungs as what they most often are the outer grown up shell of shattered children who never, ever chose the life they now lead.
~TtfnJohn
A Joe’s Child Sexual Abuse Story
Children cannot protect themselves from sexual abuse, and civil liability won’t heal them. How do I know?
I was a boy, and I was sexually abused in my family from the age of 11 or 12 to nearly 20. As this began, in-family, in the 1960s, who was I supposed to tell even in the faint hope I'd be believed? There was no faint hope of belief in those days.
“Stranger abuse” is rare in the extreme for most of those of us who survived childhood sexual abuse, and to us it’s actually an interesting word for the occurrence. It's nearly always a known and trusted (even loved) adult rather than a total stranger, so right then and there the option, to the child, of screaming, yelling, and making a scene is pretty much erased.
Dammit, we love and trust this person! Get it? And the first approach is always in an empty house/apartment so even if that thought was to occur to a child what the hell is the point of trying?
The first response is, after the shock of it all, that we've done something awfully wrong and bad to find ourselves in this situation. Not true, of course, but this is a child’s mind we're dealing with, as I was, so this adult must be punishing us for something we've done.
After that, not too surprisingly comes the overwhelming shame.
As the abuse is repeated, we become convinced that our value, little as it is, is defined by the sex act and little else. The hell we live in makes any other assumption all but impossible.
Some people believe that children are capable of protecting themselves from undesired sexual activity with adults. I'm not at all surprised when I see/hear this because that's the excuse used to excuse this abuse and almost always has been. The thing that saddens me is that people actually seem to believe it. I'd hoped and prayed we, as a culture, were beyond that.
People who believe that children can protect themselves from sexual abuse need to understand how broken we are from that first encounter until we are, should we be lucky and incredibly fortunate, able to come to terms with what happened, with the reality that we did nothing to bring this on and cause it, and that we are people with value for things other than the sex act.
I said understand because others will never know the life we lead after this has happened or the self-blaming, self-accusing, self-loathing world we find ourselves in.
Most of us don't survive long as adults, which may please some as both male and female victims are the vast majority of prostitutes out there. And no, I don't mean high priced call girl types, but street types. The ones you drive by and scowl at and write nasty letters about. If we're men we're often the street hooker's customers.
We're a significant portion of alcoholics and addicts out there self-medicating just to feel "normal". Of course, we have no idea what normal is but we reach for it anyway.
Some of us grow up to be fairly functional in society¸ at least from the outside. We don't behave well and we can't form stable relationships, but we function. Some of us are very successful if you measure success by money and possessions.
Should we form a bond, we then find ourselves back in a family situation again, swearing to God that we won't pass on what happened to us. Until . . . until . . . The day we do. Because we were taught the only way to express the deepest of love is in the sex act and nothing else by the parent or trusted adult that started us down this road taught us anything else.
Not that all of you will believe this, nor do I much care if you do. I'm relating first-hand experience as a victim and survivor just by the miracle of living as long as I have.
I'm 57 and research indicates that most of us die, by our own hands or the hands of others, by our late 20s or early 30s.
I'm incredibly fortunate. I started to deal with this around people that, even though they didn't understand, walked through it with me and didn't judge me. Even in the 1980s when it was felt that this sort of thing NEVER happened to boys.
I know better now, though it hasn't been easy. Recovering from alcoholism and then met face to face with this again. The 12 steps were invaluable as were members of the program. Two women were invaluable to me, the associate priest at my church and the priest in training there.
Two others have been almost as invaluable. One, the first real bond as an equal and well beyond merely the sexual aspect of a relationship taught me that breaking up isn't the end of the world or a reason to go into mourning but a reason to celebrate that relationship and the time we had together. The other is my partner who forbids me from taking myself too seriously and helps me see the value and joy found in a simple snuggle.
The therapeutic "community" has, for the most part, been more an impediment than it has been a help. There are a number of reasons for that but while they've been largely kind and supportive they've also been largely useless to me. For the most part they still are.
If I knew someone had picture of me taken during the abuse and wouldn't get rid of it, I'm not sure if I'd be angry or sad but for a small period of time I'd feel victimized all over again. If I won a lawsuit about said picture? I also know, deep in my being, that if someone had showered me in money I'd be dead by now. Probably from over drinking or a drug overdose. It really is that simple. I wasn't ready for it. I'm not sure I really am now.
It's not that I want to forget it happened, it's that last thing I want to forget. It's formed such a major part of my life, for better and for worse that it's in my cells. A part of my being.
That's why I question the nascent movement to provide civil liability for these sorts of things. It strikes me that some feel that money is sufficient recompense for a life destroyed and may inhibit a life rebuilt. Sadly, that is far too often the result of one of us suddenly having a boxcar full of cash.
I may sound emotional at times, but I know no other way of dealing with this than emotionally. Humans are emotional creatures not logical ones. Pretending to be logical and rational at all times almost killed me. Justice can and ought to have an emotional edge to it as long as it doesn't degenerate in to revenge.
Next time anyone passes a hooker on the street remember that is someone's daughter or son. They no more chose that life that I chose my alcoholism or chose what happened to me. They just weren't lucky enough to find a way to be functional in life as I've been.
My abuser?
My father. Who was abused by his favorite uncle, who was abused by his father, who was abused by his mother and so it goes deep into the family tree. As does alcoholism.
And I don't hate any of them any longer any more that I hate alcohol, though I fear it.
As far as I'm able to, I've forgiven my now deceased father. Maybe he's finally found the peace he never knew in life.
That doesn't change the damage he did to me, it doesn't excuse it, but it somewhat explains it.
Over-legalizing such things accomplishes nothing but turning us back into helpless pawns in someone else's game yet again.
There's no amount of money in the world that can give one of us our childhood back again.
All we can do is build on the shattered remains, and claim our birthright of a healthy and happy adult life where we can love and accept ourselves for who and what we are as whole persons, flaws, warts and all.
There isn't a court judgment in the world that can give that to us.
I wish that people stopped pretending there is.
~TtfnJohn
I was a boy, and I was sexually abused in my family from the age of 11 or 12 to nearly 20. As this began, in-family, in the 1960s, who was I supposed to tell even in the faint hope I'd be believed? There was no faint hope of belief in those days.
“Stranger abuse” is rare in the extreme for most of those of us who survived childhood sexual abuse, and to us it’s actually an interesting word for the occurrence. It's nearly always a known and trusted (even loved) adult rather than a total stranger, so right then and there the option, to the child, of screaming, yelling, and making a scene is pretty much erased.
Dammit, we love and trust this person! Get it? And the first approach is always in an empty house/apartment so even if that thought was to occur to a child what the hell is the point of trying?
The first response is, after the shock of it all, that we've done something awfully wrong and bad to find ourselves in this situation. Not true, of course, but this is a child’s mind we're dealing with, as I was, so this adult must be punishing us for something we've done.
After that, not too surprisingly comes the overwhelming shame.
As the abuse is repeated, we become convinced that our value, little as it is, is defined by the sex act and little else. The hell we live in makes any other assumption all but impossible.
Some people believe that children are capable of protecting themselves from undesired sexual activity with adults. I'm not at all surprised when I see/hear this because that's the excuse used to excuse this abuse and almost always has been. The thing that saddens me is that people actually seem to believe it. I'd hoped and prayed we, as a culture, were beyond that.
People who believe that children can protect themselves from sexual abuse need to understand how broken we are from that first encounter until we are, should we be lucky and incredibly fortunate, able to come to terms with what happened, with the reality that we did nothing to bring this on and cause it, and that we are people with value for things other than the sex act.
I said understand because others will never know the life we lead after this has happened or the self-blaming, self-accusing, self-loathing world we find ourselves in.
Most of us don't survive long as adults, which may please some as both male and female victims are the vast majority of prostitutes out there. And no, I don't mean high priced call girl types, but street types. The ones you drive by and scowl at and write nasty letters about. If we're men we're often the street hooker's customers.
We're a significant portion of alcoholics and addicts out there self-medicating just to feel "normal". Of course, we have no idea what normal is but we reach for it anyway.
Some of us grow up to be fairly functional in society¸ at least from the outside. We don't behave well and we can't form stable relationships, but we function. Some of us are very successful if you measure success by money and possessions.
Should we form a bond, we then find ourselves back in a family situation again, swearing to God that we won't pass on what happened to us. Until . . . until . . . The day we do. Because we were taught the only way to express the deepest of love is in the sex act and nothing else by the parent or trusted adult that started us down this road taught us anything else.
Not that all of you will believe this, nor do I much care if you do. I'm relating first-hand experience as a victim and survivor just by the miracle of living as long as I have.
I'm 57 and research indicates that most of us die, by our own hands or the hands of others, by our late 20s or early 30s.
I'm incredibly fortunate. I started to deal with this around people that, even though they didn't understand, walked through it with me and didn't judge me. Even in the 1980s when it was felt that this sort of thing NEVER happened to boys.
I know better now, though it hasn't been easy. Recovering from alcoholism and then met face to face with this again. The 12 steps were invaluable as were members of the program. Two women were invaluable to me, the associate priest at my church and the priest in training there.
Two others have been almost as invaluable. One, the first real bond as an equal and well beyond merely the sexual aspect of a relationship taught me that breaking up isn't the end of the world or a reason to go into mourning but a reason to celebrate that relationship and the time we had together. The other is my partner who forbids me from taking myself too seriously and helps me see the value and joy found in a simple snuggle.
The therapeutic "community" has, for the most part, been more an impediment than it has been a help. There are a number of reasons for that but while they've been largely kind and supportive they've also been largely useless to me. For the most part they still are.
If I knew someone had picture of me taken during the abuse and wouldn't get rid of it, I'm not sure if I'd be angry or sad but for a small period of time I'd feel victimized all over again. If I won a lawsuit about said picture? I also know, deep in my being, that if someone had showered me in money I'd be dead by now. Probably from over drinking or a drug overdose. It really is that simple. I wasn't ready for it. I'm not sure I really am now.
It's not that I want to forget it happened, it's that last thing I want to forget. It's formed such a major part of my life, for better and for worse that it's in my cells. A part of my being.
That's why I question the nascent movement to provide civil liability for these sorts of things. It strikes me that some feel that money is sufficient recompense for a life destroyed and may inhibit a life rebuilt. Sadly, that is far too often the result of one of us suddenly having a boxcar full of cash.
I may sound emotional at times, but I know no other way of dealing with this than emotionally. Humans are emotional creatures not logical ones. Pretending to be logical and rational at all times almost killed me. Justice can and ought to have an emotional edge to it as long as it doesn't degenerate in to revenge.
Next time anyone passes a hooker on the street remember that is someone's daughter or son. They no more chose that life that I chose my alcoholism or chose what happened to me. They just weren't lucky enough to find a way to be functional in life as I've been.
My abuser?
My father. Who was abused by his favorite uncle, who was abused by his father, who was abused by his mother and so it goes deep into the family tree. As does alcoholism.
And I don't hate any of them any longer any more that I hate alcohol, though I fear it.
As far as I'm able to, I've forgiven my now deceased father. Maybe he's finally found the peace he never knew in life.
That doesn't change the damage he did to me, it doesn't excuse it, but it somewhat explains it.
Over-legalizing such things accomplishes nothing but turning us back into helpless pawns in someone else's game yet again.
There's no amount of money in the world that can give one of us our childhood back again.
All we can do is build on the shattered remains, and claim our birthright of a healthy and happy adult life where we can love and accept ourselves for who and what we are as whole persons, flaws, warts and all.
There isn't a court judgment in the world that can give that to us.
I wish that people stopped pretending there is.
~TtfnJohn
Video: The Making of a Prostitute
Entitled "The Making of a Girl", this video from GEMS (on our blogroll) describes in specific terms the making of an American prostitute . . . The average age of introduction is 12.
The video talks about how children are inducted, the tools that prospective pimps use, and the weaknesses in our society that make indoctrination possible when the target child is already aware of at least some of what will come as a result.
Without understanding the problem, there will be no solution. Try to understand.
~Riot.Jane
The video talks about how children are inducted, the tools that prospective pimps use, and the weaknesses in our society that make indoctrination possible when the target child is already aware of at least some of what will come as a result.
Without understanding the problem, there will be no solution. Try to understand.
~Riot.Jane
Girl, 14, Accuses Own Mother/Grandmother of Pimping Her Out
HOUSTON -- A 14 year old girl suspected of prostitution told police that her mother and grandmother forced her into the activity in order to pay the trio's living expenses. While checking on the girl's story, Houston Police found the mother performing prostitution and the grandmother in possession of a small amount of heroin.
The police arrested the mother Alicia Melchor, 33, and grandmother Elizabeth Buford, 55. Both are charged with the second-degree felony of compelling prostitution, the maximum punishment for which is 20 years. Buford is additionally charged with heroin possession. Buford and Melchor both have extensive criminal backgrounds, including prostitution, and are currently in police custody. The girl is not.
The police arrested the mother Alicia Melchor, 33, and grandmother Elizabeth Buford, 55. Both are charged with the second-degree felony of compelling prostitution, the maximum punishment for which is 20 years. Buford is additionally charged with heroin possession. Buford and Melchor both have extensive criminal backgrounds, including prostitution, and are currently in police custody. The girl is not.
Underage prostitution? Suck. Prostitution as the family business? DoubleSuck. I've heard before that the Houston Police Department (patrol and Vice both) have an unofficial policy of attempting to not arrest underage prostitutes, of attempting to get them into social services or back with separated family members or responsible adult family friends. I applaud this line of thought and hope that it continues, but I have to wonder how it will affect this particular girl.
With members of the the two preceding generations of her family being the ones who pimped her out as a part of the family business, to whom could she possibly be turned over for support and psychological help? If anyone in her extended family gave a rat's ass about her or her situation, it wouldn't have progressed to the police catching her in the act of prostitution. My hopes and dreams are with her.
In general, I don't care what anyone knowing puts into or does with her body. As long as everyone is over age and consenting, I think we have larger things to worry about than intoxicants or prostitution (you know, like crumbling infrastructure, vaccination rates, and unemployment). Drugs and prostitution should both be legal. Both are survival methods, and if they purveyors of such stay low-key, keep it away from schools, and have some respect for their neighbors, the rest of us should just look the other way.
If someone thinks her most marketable skill is best suited to a jackshack or selling controlled substances, or if, God forbid, she has nothing else at her disposal to survive, the very last thing she needs is legal complications. For those in such situations (by choice or desperation), changing their lives and income situation is well nigh impossible with arrest and/or conviction records.
The wage of sin may be eventual death, but the wage of survival is often sin. Sin is in the eye of the beholder, and in the beholder's god.
This liberty line of thought, though, screeches to a halt at the doorstep of the underage and/or the coerced. Coerced sex is rape. People involved in sexual coercion need to be imprisoned for life (no parole!), and the desperate underaged should continued to be rescued because, after all, they're not all that different from the animals at the ASPCA in that they were born but not properly loved or raised. If we can do it for animals, why not humans?
~Riot.Jane
Craigslist and Sexual Trafficking
Human rights group The Rebecca Project for Human Rights rapped craigslist’s knuckles this past Monday with a half-page* advertisement in both The Washington Post and the San Francisco Chronicle that describes the stories of two trafficked females.The advertisement, paid for by the FAIR fund, took the form of a personal letter to craigslist co-founder Craig Newmark, from the two trafficked females using the initials AK and MC. In the letter, the trafficked females provide an overview and some details of their abductions and subsequent sexual trafficking and describe how Newmark’s site enabled said trafficking.
“In 2009, I met a man twice my age who pretended to be my boyfriend . . . This ‘boyfriend’ soon revealed he was a pimp. He put my picture on Craigslist, and I was sold for sex by the hour at truck stops and cheap motels, 10 hours with 10 different men every night,” AK wrote.
“I was first forced into prostitution when I was 11 years old by a 28 year-old man. I am not an exception. The man who trafficked me sold many girls my age . . . All day, me and the other girls sat with our laptops, posting pictures and answering ads on Criagslist . . . dragging me to Los Angeles, Houston, Little Rock – and one trip to Las Vegas in the trunk of a car,” MC wrote.
“Men answered the Craigslist advertisements and paid to rape me . . . I personally know over 20 girls who were trafficked through Craigslist. Like me, they were taken from city to city, each time sold on a different Craigslist site – Philadelphia, Dallas, Mikwaukee, Washington D.C. My phone would ring, and soon men would line up in the parking lot,” AK wrote.
“I am 17 now, and my childhood memories . . . are making my own arrangements on Craigslist to be sold for sex, and answering as many ads as possible for fear of beatings and ice water baths,” MC wrote.
Craigslist co-founder Jim Buckmaster* responded to the allegations in the form of a personal letter to AK and MC published on the craigslist blog. “. . . [W]e are anxious to know that the perpetrators are behind bars. Would you or the advocacy groups who placed the ads please let us know where the police reports were filed? We have been unable thus far to identify police reports matching the crimes you describe,” Buckmaster wrote.
“If anyone committing such crimes has not yet been apprehended and prosecuted, we want to do everything in our power to assist the police in making that happen . . . We work with law enforcement to bring to justice any criminals foolish enough to incriminate themselves by misusing our site, and want to make sure everything possible has been done in your cases.”
Buckmaster continued, “craigslist is used by more than 50 million Americans to facilitate billions of interactions each month, and criminal misuse of the site is quite rare.”
Additionally, “craigslist is one of the few bright spots and success stories in the critical fight against trafficking and child exploitation.”
--opinion start--
--opinion start--
Yes, bad people are using craigslist to do bad things to children and adults. The problem is, people have been doing bad things since long before craigslist began. I would bet cash money that people will still be doing bad things long after craigslist is gone, and that the bad people will find other ways to get their word out.
We can either play Whack-A-Mole trying to silence information distributors, or we can put the information distributors to use in sting operations that bust/incarcerate the pimps and free the trafficked.
Here’s a thought: How about not having someone else write a response to a letter written to you (I’m looking at you, Newmark), and don’t try to turn tragic stories of human sexual trafficking into an opportunity for spin (I’m looking at you, Buckmaster).
Both moves come across as insincere, snotty, and just plain lame.
--opinion end--
FLDS Leader's Conviction Overturned: Warren Jeffs
Sad Greetings to the Ladies Jane!
If you haven't yet heard, the Utah Supreme Court overturned the conviction of FLDS leader Warren Jeffs because the "jurors in the case were given improper legal instructions . . . before reaching their 2007 verdict that Jeffs contributed to the 2001 sexual assault of teenage victim Elissa Wall, then 14, by directing her to marry an adult cousin." *Generally, the reason for the overturn:
The Utah Supreme Court found Judge Shumate incorrectly advised jurors they could find Jeffs guilty as an accomplice to rape based on the notion that his authority and marriage ceremony led to the sexual assault, regardless of whether that was his intent. *
Specifically, the reason for the overturn:
the instruction erroneously interprets the statute’s use of the term “actor,” as used in Utah Code sections 76-5-406(10) and (11), to refer to the defendant, Jeffs, rather than to Steed. Those sections provide that the intercourse will be deemed to be nonconsensual if “the victim is younger than 18 years of age and at the time of the offense the actor . . . occupied a position of special trust in relation to the victim,” or if “the victim is 14 years of age or older, but younger than 18 years of age, and the actor is more than three years older than the victim and entices or coerces the victim to submit or participate . . . .” * (page 9)
So, a man can lead and brainwash an entire 10,000+ religious community to believe that forced polygamist marriage and forced sex between children and adults is required by God, preside over such marriages, and then have his conviction for the forced "consummation" of same overturned because he didn't physically perform the rapes with his own penis?
As the community's religious leader and brainwasher, he doesn't qualify as the person "[of] special trust" or "[who] coerces the victim to submit"?
We have one sick legal system, we do.
~Riot.Jane
Jaycee Dugard >shudder< Horror Film?
I was horrified to discover that a low-rent actor/writer/editor/producer by the name of Shane Ryan is planning to make a film about the capture and imprisonment of Jaycee Dugard.
That's right, Ladies, the wonder-boy of such low-class cinematography as:
That's right, Ladies, the wonder-boy of such low-class cinematography as:
- Sex Kids Party (a/k/a The More, the Better)
- Amateur Porn Star Killer 1, 2, & 3
- Big Boobs, Blonde Babes, Bad Blood
- So, We Killed Our Parents
-and- - Caged Lesbos A-Go-Go
Is hoping to release Abducted Girl: An American Sex Slave through Alter Ego Films, in Spring 2010, according to Sacramento television station CBS13. Even though Ryan's above-noted movies have been described by viewers as:
- "[W]hat a homemade snuff film might look like with a bit of what the director thinks is artistic" [1]
- "[B]ad blood feature that is sheer in-your-face violence with a comedic ingredient inserted for your perverse viewing" [2]
- "The girl is supposed to be 13 years old, who (in their right mind) would find the gratuitous kidnapping, rape and eventual beating of a 13 year old girl entertaining?" [3]
He's "trying to figure out a way to do that so it's not exploitative," he told a reporter from CBS13 in a telephone interview. He also told the reporter, "We want to capture how sad this story is, but also how interesting."
On the film's website, Ryan writes that "this film is not about Jaycee Dugard," that it was in pre-production prior to authorities rescuing Dugard, and he continues with "Instead of doing a movie about human trafficking they instead decided [because of the Dugard case] to focus on just one victim and her captor and explore the idea of what it would be like for an 11 year old to be kidnapped and live in captivity for the next 18 years." He clearly states, "This is a fictitious film we were planning on making with a few friends in hope to make an interesting story," and he also says that this is nothing but the media "cashing in on another Jaycee story."
So, to recap, According to Ryan:
- This film is not about Dugard (even if a pre-production movie was re-drafted as the direct result of Dugard's recovery)
- Alter Ego Films is not a porn company (regardless of what they create and sell)
-and- - The "reporters" are the Dugard exploiters, not his film (while he's gabbing about the film's lack of exploitativeness with the CBS13 reporter and thereby co-opting as much publicity as possible).
If the reporters are the vultures, I hereby call you out for catching a ride on the vulture's wing simply to save the time and effort of walking over to feast on the carcass yourself.
I have to say that I agree with the Dugard family's spokesperson Nancy Seltzer's statement that this project is "breathtakingly unkind."[4]
You, Sir, are a Very.Bad.Man.
~Riot.Jane
"We're the Victims Here"
That absurd statement came from the mouth of Alan Yaffe, attorney for RJL Entertainment Inc. d/b/a "Cheetah Club," a strip joint in Corpus Christi, TX. RJL is suing a minor dancer, her parents, and the man accused of abducting the minor, sexually assaulting her, and forcing her to strip at the club.
The 14-year-old girl was allegedly abducted from San Antonio, held and assaulted in the captor's home over the course of a week, then handed a fake ID card and forced to work in the club. The alleged abductor/assaultor, Leslie Campbell, is being held in the Nueces County (Texas) Jail on charges of aggravated kidnapping and aggravated sexual assault. A Manager at the Cheetah Club was arrested (already out on bail) and charged with the sexual performance of a child and employment harmful to a minor.
A Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) Sergeant involved with the case expects the TABC to take legal action against the Cheetah Club. He said that anyone looking at this girl should have known there was a good chance she was underage.
RJL Enterprises, Inc. is seeking currently-unspecified damages from the minor, parents, and abductor and a statement from a judge indicating that the Cheetah Club did not intend to hire the minor. "There was no real kidnapping," RJL attorney Yaffe told the San Antonio Express-News. "We're the victims here, sir. My clients are the victims."
Additional reading.
~Riot.Jane
The 14-year-old girl was allegedly abducted from San Antonio, held and assaulted in the captor's home over the course of a week, then handed a fake ID card and forced to work in the club. The alleged abductor/assaultor, Leslie Campbell, is being held in the Nueces County (Texas) Jail on charges of aggravated kidnapping and aggravated sexual assault. A Manager at the Cheetah Club was arrested (already out on bail) and charged with the sexual performance of a child and employment harmful to a minor.
A Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission (TABC) Sergeant involved with the case expects the TABC to take legal action against the Cheetah Club. He said that anyone looking at this girl should have known there was a good chance she was underage.
RJL Enterprises, Inc. is seeking currently-unspecified damages from the minor, parents, and abductor and a statement from a judge indicating that the Cheetah Club did not intend to hire the minor. "There was no real kidnapping," RJL attorney Yaffe told the San Antonio Express-News. "We're the victims here, sir. My clients are the victims."
Additional reading.
~Riot.Jane
Paying for Your Own Rape-Kit
Greetings to the Ladies Jane --
One would think, after the flap that ensued during the most recent US Presidential election regarding same, that any law-enforcement agency still requiring victims pay for their own sexual assault medical forensic examinations (i.e. rape-kits) would have stopped the practice.
Not so.
As recently as last month, Texas rape victims have received hospital bills and payment delinquency notices for their rape-kits. As of just over a year ago, North Carolina rape victims were in the same situation. Ditto for Georgia, Illinois, and Kansas.
The problem seems to be part paperwork issues, part privacy laws, part cost-cutting, and part insensitivity. Because the specimens collected during the forensic medical exam are not labeled "rape-kit" and the patient's file is not noted "sexual assault" (both points to protect the privacy of the patient), these women are falling down a rabbit hole of hospital-billing-department/private-insurance/public-aid/credit-delinquency merry-go-round where every organization says, "Not my responsibility," and refers the victim to someone else.
Victim receives a bill --> Hospital says insurance didn't pay, call insurance --> Insurance says services not covered, call the police since they told you it wouldn't cost anything --> Police say we don't pay hospital bills, call the state --> State says you have insurance, call insurance --> And on and on.
To be fair, most (if not all of these states) have funds established to pay for at least some of these expenses, and public aid and private insurance are supposed to be exhausted before a victim sees a bill. The entire concept is broken because it is built upon the concept that the victim is ultimately financially responsible for the forensic medical examination. The fact that a sexual assault victim could ever see a bill for her rape-kit is a secondary crime in and of itself, and the fact remains that women are receiving hospital bills and delinquencies on their credit reports as a direct result of sexual assault.
The US Department of Justice, Office of Violence Against Women, has outlined its views of the roles of first responders to sexual assault as part of a coordinated community response to same in its publication A National Protocol for Sexual Assault Medical Forensic Examinations. In this document, the USDOJ states, "Just as critical [to effectively collecting evidence for successful prosecution] is performing sexual assault forensic exams in a sensitive, dignified, and victim-centered manner."
Does rape victims receiving bills for their own rape-kits sound "sensitive, dignified, and victim-centered" to you?
~Riot.Jane
One would think, after the flap that ensued during the most recent US Presidential election regarding same, that any law-enforcement agency still requiring victims pay for their own sexual assault medical forensic examinations (i.e. rape-kits) would have stopped the practice.
Not so.
As recently as last month, Texas rape victims have received hospital bills and payment delinquency notices for their rape-kits. As of just over a year ago, North Carolina rape victims were in the same situation. Ditto for Georgia, Illinois, and Kansas.
The problem seems to be part paperwork issues, part privacy laws, part cost-cutting, and part insensitivity. Because the specimens collected during the forensic medical exam are not labeled "rape-kit" and the patient's file is not noted "sexual assault" (both points to protect the privacy of the patient), these women are falling down a rabbit hole of hospital-billing-department/private-insurance/public-aid/credit-delinquency merry-go-round where every organization says, "Not my responsibility," and refers the victim to someone else.
Victim receives a bill --> Hospital says insurance didn't pay, call insurance --> Insurance says services not covered, call the police since they told you it wouldn't cost anything --> Police say we don't pay hospital bills, call the state --> State says you have insurance, call insurance --> And on and on.
To be fair, most (if not all of these states) have funds established to pay for at least some of these expenses, and public aid and private insurance are supposed to be exhausted before a victim sees a bill. The entire concept is broken because it is built upon the concept that the victim is ultimately financially responsible for the forensic medical examination. The fact that a sexual assault victim could ever see a bill for her rape-kit is a secondary crime in and of itself, and the fact remains that women are receiving hospital bills and delinquencies on their credit reports as a direct result of sexual assault.
The US Department of Justice, Office of Violence Against Women, has outlined its views of the roles of first responders to sexual assault as part of a coordinated community response to same in its publication A National Protocol for Sexual Assault Medical Forensic Examinations. In this document, the USDOJ states, "Just as critical [to effectively collecting evidence for successful prosecution] is performing sexual assault forensic exams in a sensitive, dignified, and victim-centered manner."
Does rape victims receiving bills for their own rape-kits sound "sensitive, dignified, and victim-centered" to you?
~Riot.Jane
Man Has His Own Wife Raped
Sad Greetings to the Ladies Jane --
If the various news reports I've read are accurate, a 25-year-old North Carolina man arranged, via a popular online classified site, for a complete stranger to have sex with his wife using "scare tactics." Since the wife was ignorant of and therefore not complicit with the plan, rape is the only possible word for this event.
The concept bears repeating: A man had someone else rape his own wife.
Now, while you're trying to wrap your mind around that concept, here are details from various news reports (linked below):
I hereby volunteer to have Karma's flow skip over the next three good things that are supposed to happen to me so that there's plenty of Karma available to give this piece of human garbage exactly what he deserves.
Further reading sources available.
~Riot.Jane
If the various news reports I've read are accurate, a 25-year-old North Carolina man arranged, via a popular online classified site, for a complete stranger to have sex with his wife using "scare tactics." Since the wife was ignorant of and therefore not complicit with the plan, rape is the only possible word for this event.
The concept bears repeating: A man had someone else rape his own wife.
Now, while you're trying to wrap your mind around that concept, here are details from various news reports (linked below):
- The woman awoke from sleep, in bed with her husband, at 2:45 AM to see a black male stranger standing at the foot of the bed with a knife.
- The stranger raped her.
- The husband didn't try to interfere with the sexual assault, and he didn't try to comfort her afterward.
- The victim (not the husband) called 911 after the assault.
- The victim was forensically examined, medically treated, interviewed, and released from the hospital due to no significant physical injury.
- Police could find no sign of forced entry into the couple's home.
- The husband's statement contained specific inconsistencies, and he's being held on $200,000 bond on various charges: first-degree rape, first-degree sexual offense, and attempted first-degree sexual offense. He waived the appointment of a public defender at his first hearing.
- Police confiscated the husband's computer and have obtained the assistance of the US Secret Service in gathering forensic computer evidence.
- The couple's two children were home (but presumably asleep) and not aware of the sexual assault.
- The victim told a reporter that she is receiving help and support from family members, that the details of the assault are too painful to discuss, but that she didn't know about the plan. Police have indicated that they firmly believe her.
- The police have located the assaulter. He is a veteran who was convicted of indecent exposure in Virginia last March.
- Police are not yet sure whether or not the husband paid the assaulter for the assault, or if the assaulter even knew the victim was non-complicit. Police believe the assaulter may have simply believed he was fulfilling a consensual fantasy.
I hereby volunteer to have Karma's flow skip over the next three good things that are supposed to happen to me so that there's plenty of Karma available to give this piece of human garbage exactly what he deserves.
Further reading sources available.
~Riot.Jane
The Bystander Effect
Sad Greetings to the Ladies Jane --
If the news report is accurate, a woman in her 20s was raped, in broad daylight, in front of hundreds of people, yesterday afternoon in a Spokane, Washington park.
No one stepped in, even though "Witnesses reported seeing her struggle and attempt to get away from the male several times."
Local NBC affiliate KHQ reports that the incident occurred at Riverside Park approximately 1:45 PM, and that the perpetrator was reportedly a 53-year-old panhandler.
If hundreds of people watched, then it's safe to assume that there were women, just like us, who stood by and let this happen. A remarkably similar case in the mid-1960s prompted the first social psychological research into this phenomenon, the Bystander Effect, in which the herd mentality diffuses personal conscience and responsibility to the point of eradication.
I am outraged and disgusted to the level of physical illness. I guess this means my normal mantra of "People are really good at their core" simply doesn't apply to groups.
How do we make sure that we're not a part of the herd? That we don't ever stand idly by, silently waiting for someone else to take the lead, while another woman is assaulted?
~Riot.Jane
If the news report is accurate, a woman in her 20s was raped, in broad daylight, in front of hundreds of people, yesterday afternoon in a Spokane, Washington park.
No one stepped in, even though "Witnesses reported seeing her struggle and attempt to get away from the male several times."
Local NBC affiliate KHQ reports that the incident occurred at Riverside Park approximately 1:45 PM, and that the perpetrator was reportedly a 53-year-old panhandler.
If hundreds of people watched, then it's safe to assume that there were women, just like us, who stood by and let this happen. A remarkably similar case in the mid-1960s prompted the first social psychological research into this phenomenon, the Bystander Effect, in which the herd mentality diffuses personal conscience and responsibility to the point of eradication.
I am outraged and disgusted to the level of physical illness. I guess this means my normal mantra of "People are really good at their core" simply doesn't apply to groups.
How do we make sure that we're not a part of the herd? That we don't ever stand idly by, silently waiting for someone else to take the lead, while another woman is assaulted?
~Riot.Jane
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