~Riot.Jane
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Very Old and Very Sexy…An Oxymoron?
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| Hattie RetroAge |
What happened to turn that around?
Here goes…
When I was about five years old, my immigrant mother took me to the Steam Baths in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. Just a mere pre-schooler, choking in the heat, I peered up with disgust at what I perceived to be “fat, old ladies”. Then and there I decided if that’s what being a lady looks like, I’ll never grow up.
Riot.Jane Guest Blogs for "The Business Coach for Moms"
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| Riot.Jane |
Lady T coaches and empowers women to change the world through entrepreneurship. She provides motivational workshops, spiritual retreats and one on one coaching that helps moms grow purposeful, flourishing home businesses. You can click here to learn more about this mompreneur expert and click here to to read my thoughts on one facet of existing as a woman in the workplace.
~Riot.Jane
LOVE What You DO!
Our newest Jane, Jeannette Marshall, is a business optioneer with sales expertise accumulated over 20 years. She's a consistent top-performer and award winner willing to share the professional opinions and ideas she's accumulated from actual success. Today she's sharing her strategy for creating her own blog and using it to increase her own knowledge while burnishing her brand and becoming a proven authority in her field . . .
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One element I always look for when I look at the gazillion of sales blogs or websites is testimonials or background on the blogger. Basically, asking the question: "What does this person have that I can learn from?" Granted, there are those like Anthony Robbins who we really don't question that any longer because his claim to fame is selling himself. Likewise, there are very successful real estate tycoons, but none measure up to Donald Trump, who really excels at selling himself. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me that so many master Bloggers don't back up their authority on the subject by quantifying their results. That is where my point to my Blog starts. I am open to examination. Why? Simply because I have proven success yet am constantly stretching my learning and qualifications. If I don't expose my ideas and look for challenges to those ideals, then I have failed myself. I have stopped learning from others.
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| Jeannette Marshall a/k/a OptioneerJM |
Next, define goals. After taking and exceling at the Google Analytics Basic "Search Engine Optimization" (SEO) and "Search Engine Marketing" (SEM) right around the time I started the Blog, I realized that I wouldn't be able to be an authority on sales, without understanding all the key elements impacting sales today. The most relevant is Social Media. It is changing traditional sales methodology at lightning speed. To assume that all the same techniques that I applied a year ago, five years ago or more, are applicable today without incorporating Social Media into the equation is naive on my part. Therefore, I realized that the GOAL I needed to set was to learn: "How social media impacts sales by using my own Blog as a conduit to gain that insight".
Thirdly, research competitors or learn from the experts. If you are with an organization or product/service just starting out just like I am with my Blog it can be quite intimidating to tackle those giants already established before you. However, I took the time to look at them, research a bit and learn from those already successful (one of my guiding principles). I've used this tactic so many times. In my case, I interpreted that many blogs promote sales techniques yet underline you should hire them or buy something, usually a book or course. If you look objectively and absorb the most successful traits that you can relate to, you can emulate them in your outlook to turn that Goliath obstacle into an advantage.
Next differentiation. Many giants are so caught up by their size or their own "press" that they fail at self-examination. A starter has the advantage after they microscope their competitors and analyse them they can uncover a nugget from where they might find an area where they differentiate themselves. Differentiation gets easier after you go through the steps of setting objective, goals, followed by research. I applied the links among objective, goals and research to decide to "Share what I know without an ulterior motive (i.e. seek speaking engagements, sell a course or book)". There was my differentiation that I believed would set me apart from many sales bloggers.
Finally, and not the least important - measurement. You cannot tell how you're doing without some sort of measurement stick. In real sales situations, you are measured by increased sales, new customers, improved profitability, expanded sales base, etc. In the world of social media it is how many Twitter followers you have, even better, quality is measured by reTweets. With blogging, it is by followers, yes, but more when you can check stats to see if you have traction by views or click through rates. Don't forget to click not to count your own page views! I like to monitor whether I am providing value - I interpret from comments, feedback or sharing. I post my results so others can watch my progress and because I KNOW there will be progress, I am not afraid to share. Next, after I have established myself for a year, I will measure how I stack up against other sales Bloggers.
Geez, I almost forgot the most important of all. Not only does it take what I learn from the blogging pros by having a catchy title, it also communicates what I also learn from the icons of business -- LOVE WHAT YOU DO!
~Jeannette Marshall
a/k/a OptioneerJM
optioneerjm.blogspot.com
Working a Job I Hate for Health Insurance
I'm at the same job I was in 10 years ago. The job has no path for advancement, either professionally or monetarily. I'm a walking knowledge base for everyone who comes into contact with me. I've been there so long that I sometimes can't immediately answer "How do we do this?" because "how we do this" has changed so many times over the years that I can't be sure if what I'm remembering is the current "how we do this."
I can't tell you the last time I learned something new. God, how I wish I could change employment.
Why can't I jump? Health insurance -- It's the ball attached to the chain clamped to my leg that will eventually drown me in the clear, calm depths of professional obsolescence.
Here's the situation: My health insurance premium is approximately 30% of my net payroll. I only pay 25% of that premium, but on the open market even crappy-coverage policies have about the same premium as the fairly good group-coverage policy through my employer. Why is it so expensive? I'm a child-bearing age female, and insurers won't rider maternity coverage on an individual policy. As a result, adult females pay a shit-ton more than adult males for their insurance coverage.
Private insurers won't rider maternity because they don't want to deal with arguments/arbitration/lawsuits about whether or not any given other condition is the result of pregnancy. An example is high blood pressure. Imagine that I become pregnant, and my blood pressure rises (which commonly happens in pregnancy). The insurance company then refuses to cover visits or medication for my high blood pressure because it's "pregnancy-related." I say it's my freaking circulatory system with a problem, not my fetus or womb, so they need to cover it. The next thing you know, the lawyers are called in.
<snark> (Maybe that's how the health insurance industry keeps seeing double-digit returns for the last God knows how many years . . . Not paying lawyers to argue with their customers?) </snark>
So, individual health insurance policies on the open market are absolutely unaffordable for any woman whom I would say "works for a living." Not the first time in my life I wish I'd been born a man, let me tell you!
Add this individual-policy health insurance situation to the fact that the only industry within which I've worked in 15 years has been completely outsourced or offshored within the last 10 years, and the issue becomes clear.
I, as a never-married woman of the means delivered only by her paycheck, have to stay in a job that has been beneath me for the last 5 years because I have to maintain health insurance. No one else is going to do it for me.
I can't go without health insurance because, if something happens, public health services won't be available until I am literally destitute. My state is so strict on the "literally destitute" concept that I watched my mother become ill and die at the age of 52 as the direct result of not being able to pay for health care while working her minimum-wage, no-insurance job.
Because my mother didn't have $1K+ liquid from her minimum-wage paycheck (and, sadly, neither did I) to pay for tests to determine exactly what was wrong with her, she and her doctor treated what they guessed was wrong with her. Every month or so, she scrabbled together another $100+ for another 5- or 10-minute conversation and another prescription to treat the next guess. Within a year of the start of this cycle, she was dead.
Whatever I have to do, the same will not happen to me. I will not die because I couldn't afford health care. Disregard what the Republicans say -- "Just go to the emergency room!" -- People in this country die every day because they can't afford health care. I know, because I watched it happen to my own mother.
And I learned . . .
Keep health insurance or die painfully with those closest to you in more pain than you are.
So, every day I go to a job that I should leave. For more reasons than I can outline right now without falling into insensibility, the job is a bad fit for me dispositionally and outdated for me professionally. I did everything right -- I've worked hard, been dependable, made the most intelligent decisions possible, always supported my co-workers and supervisors, learned as much as I can about the business and the customer, and have never been fired from a job in my life. In general, I'm a stellar employee capable of great production and requiring little oversight.
And now I'm bloody fucking stuck.
Much of the problem with my professional advancement is because I work in a predominantly male industry, but the reason I haven't been able to jump ship as often as I should have to keep my payroll and advancement in line with my male peers is because of the health insurance issue. Yes, the non-insurance job in my industry pay more, but they're irregular (read: temporary) and don't pay enough more that I can lose 30% of my net on a crappy (read: doesn't cover much) individual health insurance policy.
While I've spent my entire life aspiring to be (and mostly succeeding in showing) that I'm the better employee of most of the people (not just the men) around me . . . I've been stopped dead in my professional tracks by two different types of sexism -- one systemic and based upon finances (health insurance), the other subtle and based upon gender differences (my industry).
The only thing that keeps me from bouncing off the walls with the injustice of health insurance premium inequity (no, men can't bear the pups but men have to help make them!) is the knowledge that even if my Fairy Godmother came down to Earth and suddenly made this right, I'd still be stuck not being able to change jobs because so very few of the ones in my industry even offer health insurance, regardless of the cost.
Every time I think about this, I make no headway on a plan or a solution. I end up at the same point every time, and I don't know whether to get drunk and bomb random health insurance offices or shoot myself in the head to relieve the frustration of the trapped. After all, prisoners do commit suicide to be free.
And here I am again. I had thought that writing about this, defining it, naming the monster, would help me clarify the situation, bring a solution into crystalline focus. And once again, I end up feeling like a prisoner, trapped within the cage of what I so desperately worked to obtain (a job with insurance!), the thing that I so desperately need to maintain. The health insurance that gives me the tiniest bit of security also prevents me from evolving, progressing, changing, living.
Health insurance. A pox on all of your houses!!
~Riot.Jane
I can't tell you the last time I learned something new. God, how I wish I could change employment.
Why can't I jump? Health insurance -- It's the ball attached to the chain clamped to my leg that will eventually drown me in the clear, calm depths of professional obsolescence.
Here's the situation: My health insurance premium is approximately 30% of my net payroll. I only pay 25% of that premium, but on the open market even crappy-coverage policies have about the same premium as the fairly good group-coverage policy through my employer. Why is it so expensive? I'm a child-bearing age female, and insurers won't rider maternity coverage on an individual policy. As a result, adult females pay a shit-ton more than adult males for their insurance coverage.
Private insurers won't rider maternity because they don't want to deal with arguments/arbitration/lawsuits about whether or not any given other condition is the result of pregnancy. An example is high blood pressure. Imagine that I become pregnant, and my blood pressure rises (which commonly happens in pregnancy). The insurance company then refuses to cover visits or medication for my high blood pressure because it's "pregnancy-related." I say it's my freaking circulatory system with a problem, not my fetus or womb, so they need to cover it. The next thing you know, the lawyers are called in.
<snark> (Maybe that's how the health insurance industry keeps seeing double-digit returns for the last God knows how many years . . . Not paying lawyers to argue with their customers?) </snark>
So, individual health insurance policies on the open market are absolutely unaffordable for any woman whom I would say "works for a living." Not the first time in my life I wish I'd been born a man, let me tell you!
Add this individual-policy health insurance situation to the fact that the only industry within which I've worked in 15 years has been completely outsourced or offshored within the last 10 years, and the issue becomes clear.
I, as a never-married woman of the means delivered only by her paycheck, have to stay in a job that has been beneath me for the last 5 years because I have to maintain health insurance. No one else is going to do it for me.
I can't go without health insurance because, if something happens, public health services won't be available until I am literally destitute. My state is so strict on the "literally destitute" concept that I watched my mother become ill and die at the age of 52 as the direct result of not being able to pay for health care while working her minimum-wage, no-insurance job.
Because my mother didn't have $1K+ liquid from her minimum-wage paycheck (and, sadly, neither did I) to pay for tests to determine exactly what was wrong with her, she and her doctor treated what they guessed was wrong with her. Every month or so, she scrabbled together another $100+ for another 5- or 10-minute conversation and another prescription to treat the next guess. Within a year of the start of this cycle, she was dead.
Whatever I have to do, the same will not happen to me. I will not die because I couldn't afford health care. Disregard what the Republicans say -- "Just go to the emergency room!" -- People in this country die every day because they can't afford health care. I know, because I watched it happen to my own mother.
And I learned . . .
Keep health insurance or die painfully with those closest to you in more pain than you are.
So, every day I go to a job that I should leave. For more reasons than I can outline right now without falling into insensibility, the job is a bad fit for me dispositionally and outdated for me professionally. I did everything right -- I've worked hard, been dependable, made the most intelligent decisions possible, always supported my co-workers and supervisors, learned as much as I can about the business and the customer, and have never been fired from a job in my life. In general, I'm a stellar employee capable of great production and requiring little oversight.
And now I'm bloody fucking stuck.
Much of the problem with my professional advancement is because I work in a predominantly male industry, but the reason I haven't been able to jump ship as often as I should have to keep my payroll and advancement in line with my male peers is because of the health insurance issue. Yes, the non-insurance job in my industry pay more, but they're irregular (read: temporary) and don't pay enough more that I can lose 30% of my net on a crappy (read: doesn't cover much) individual health insurance policy.
While I've spent my entire life aspiring to be (and mostly succeeding in showing) that I'm the better employee of most of the people (not just the men) around me . . . I've been stopped dead in my professional tracks by two different types of sexism -- one systemic and based upon finances (health insurance), the other subtle and based upon gender differences (my industry).
The only thing that keeps me from bouncing off the walls with the injustice of health insurance premium inequity (no, men can't bear the pups but men have to help make them!) is the knowledge that even if my Fairy Godmother came down to Earth and suddenly made this right, I'd still be stuck not being able to change jobs because so very few of the ones in my industry even offer health insurance, regardless of the cost.
Every time I think about this, I make no headway on a plan or a solution. I end up at the same point every time, and I don't know whether to get drunk and bomb random health insurance offices or shoot myself in the head to relieve the frustration of the trapped. After all, prisoners do commit suicide to be free.
And here I am again. I had thought that writing about this, defining it, naming the monster, would help me clarify the situation, bring a solution into crystalline focus. And once again, I end up feeling like a prisoner, trapped within the cage of what I so desperately worked to obtain (a job with insurance!), the thing that I so desperately need to maintain. The health insurance that gives me the tiniest bit of security also prevents me from evolving, progressing, changing, living.
Health insurance. A pox on all of your houses!!
~Riot.Jane
Helping Any Female Soldier (or Airmain/Marine/Sailor/Coastguardsman)
While reading through this satiric list of useless Care Package items that deployed service personnel receive and responses from those, same personnel, it occurred to me that I haven't sent an "Any Soldier" package.
I decided that I'm going to.
I ordered a package of Mili-Kit boxes from USPS (free!!). These boxes are 12" x 12" x 5.5" and only cost $12.50 (at the Post Office) or $11.95 (at USPS.com) to send to an APO/FPO address, no matter how heavy they are! In addition to this box, I will need Customs PS Form 2976-A which I can complete/print or download/print and complete by hand. Hints on completing it by hand can be found here.
Now . . . How to fill the boxes . . .
I'm sending to female soldiers in a hot, dry environment . . . They need pesonal care supplies. What would I miss? Tampons, soap, shampoo, conditioner, lip care, baby wipes (because they can't shower every day), cotton swabs, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, and deodorant. A couple of books or recent magazines. Pencils, paper, and envelopes for letters home. Got it.
Who to send to? From AnySoldier, I've chosen Sergeant Anthony Quail, currently in Afghanistan and expected to be there another year. He is the contact point for 100 female soldiers. Anything I send that one female doesn't need, there will be another who will.
Once a month? I can do this. I just wish I could do it once a week. And that leads me to . . .
The Jane Project doing this as a group! I've found a wholesale outlet that will sell travel-sized shampoos and conditioners and soaps for less than $50 a case. I'd like to buy a case or two of these and break them up into separate care packages (supplemented with other items) and send them every couple of weeks. If you're able to contribute, e-mail us, and we'll send you a PayPal address. If you have any ideas for this project, pls let us know!
~Riot.Jane
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| Female Soldier Training at Annapolis |
I ordered a package of Mili-Kit boxes from USPS (free!!). These boxes are 12" x 12" x 5.5" and only cost $12.50 (at the Post Office) or $11.95 (at USPS.com) to send to an APO/FPO address, no matter how heavy they are! In addition to this box, I will need Customs PS Form 2976-A which I can complete/print or download/print and complete by hand. Hints on completing it by hand can be found here.
Now . . . How to fill the boxes . . .
I'm sending to female soldiers in a hot, dry environment . . . They need pesonal care supplies. What would I miss? Tampons, soap, shampoo, conditioner, lip care, baby wipes (because they can't shower every day), cotton swabs, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, and deodorant. A couple of books or recent magazines. Pencils, paper, and envelopes for letters home. Got it.
Who to send to? From AnySoldier, I've chosen Sergeant Anthony Quail, currently in Afghanistan and expected to be there another year. He is the contact point for 100 female soldiers. Anything I send that one female doesn't need, there will be another who will.
Once a month? I can do this. I just wish I could do it once a week. And that leads me to . . .
The Jane Project doing this as a group! I've found a wholesale outlet that will sell travel-sized shampoos and conditioners and soaps for less than $50 a case. I'd like to buy a case or two of these and break them up into separate care packages (supplemented with other items) and send them every couple of weeks. If you're able to contribute, e-mail us, and we'll send you a PayPal address. If you have any ideas for this project, pls let us know!
~Riot.Jane
25% of UK Lap-Dancers has a College Degree
An interesting video clip from BBC News recently crossed my desk. In it, Dr. Belinda Brooks-Gordon of the Birkbeck University of London, strip club owner Peter Stringfellow, and not-present news columnist Kevin Maguire (proxied by a BBC anchor) discuss the results of a University of Leeds study that determined that 25% of UK lap dancers have a college degree and that these women are choosing this profession because they can make more money doing it than they can in more traditional college-graduate jobs.
The video is not embeddable, but you can find it here. A 15-second commercial precedes the roughly 3.5-minute clip.
At some point I'll see if I can find the paper itself and try to find out if similar research has been done in the US.
~Riot.Jane
The video is not embeddable, but you can find it here. A 15-second commercial precedes the roughly 3.5-minute clip.
At some point I'll see if I can find the paper itself and try to find out if similar research has been done in the US.
~Riot.Jane
Want a Raise? Wash Your Vulva, Dammit! (Part 2)
We recently introduced you to a disgusting full-page Woman's Day magazine ad in Want a Raise? Wash Your Vulva, Dammit! (Part 1). As promised, here's the follow-up . . . now that I'm clear-headed enough to write it.
Let's start from the top of their list . . .
Vaginas are NOT dirty or germy in their natural, healthy state! Health professionals have finally manged to, for the most part, eradicate the idea that we need to douche to maintain the health of our vaginas, but the myth that they smell bad is still out there. Vaginas have a smell, and much like other smells that humans have, the smell varies from woman to woman. Sometimes it's earthy, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's stronger than other times. Just because the pubic area has a smell all its own doesn't mean there's something wrong (with it or its smell or with us), or that it's bad, or that something should be done about it.
The male genitals also have a smell all their own, one that also varies man to man. No one markets "scrotum freshening" products to them because regular soap use is considered sufficient. This should apply to the vulva as well, but we're supposed to feel our "most confident" by "staying fresh" down there. Hear me, women: The only reason our natural smell could possibly affect our confidence is because we've been programmed to believe there's something wrong with it (and, therefore, with us). Fight that programming!
The first mention of actual practical advice is not mentioned until #4! The model is dressed in a suit, so we must assume that she is some type of a career woman in a professional environment. This is a woman who has her act together, who's over the age of 25, who stands on her own two feet. This is a woman who already knows how and when to feed herself and that scheduled work hours are an expectation to not be ignored. How dumb does Summer's Eve think such a woman is? Clearly, they think she's so dumb that feeding programmed insecurities, promoting eating schedules, and lecturing about expected arrival time are more important points than creating "a list of all your important contributions and accomplishments." A brilliant method to approach your target audience is assuming basic stupidity.
Pornography references have no place in a advertorial about navigating the workplace! Yes, I'm sure it was an oversight, but it's an oversight that should never happen. Supporting documentation is a practical reminder (although so basic as to be an almost unneeded reminder to our career woman), but dear God, "You made me look good" in the "XXX project"?! Really? No one caught that? I would hope that a full-paged ad in a national publication would be an expensive enough endeavor that Summer's Eve would have focus-grouped said ad, but apparently that didn't happen. If it had, some one would have mentioned "the XXX project". Women fighting for equal pay don't need any fuel in feeling like a piece of meat.
Supporting documentation shouldn't be a list of approval quotes! Returning to Western-culture female programming, approval is not what women in the workplace should be focusing on -- Productivity is. Fluffy happy approval notes are suitable for informal employee feedback or appreciation, not compensation negotiation. Documentation from superiors should include concrete items, such as tasks completed early, extra duties filled, money saved, expectations exceeded, etc. If the job includes providing a service to others, such happy notes are useful as a method of supporting claims of high customer satisfaction but are groundless as an actual productivity measure. I've seen enlightened as well as barbaric managers make this same mistake, so seeing this advice given is doubly outrageous because if the subordinate doesn't fight it, the battle could very well not be fought. Fight that programming!
Talk is cheap and silence is golden, but there's a fine line between a conversation and a question/answer session! While the ad's advice to respect silence is apropos because too many women who are victims of approval-seeking programming will fill any silence of longer than two seconds with inane chatter, remember to not go too far in the other direction. Warmth, a certain level of likability, and team cohesion are important to your long-term value to the company, and your manager is well aware of this. Appearing cold, uncooperative, disrespectful, unfriendly, or just plain stoic probably won't help your cause. Confidence and strength must be balanced with cooperation and respect in order to shine your professionally brightest.
Don't let the conversation get personal?! This is a particularly tacky bit considering this ad is for a female genital perfume product. Is Summer's Eve trying to tell us that, without guarding against it, our boss will be nosing around our crotches during the negotiation? Or are they, as I suspect, trying to imply that our externally-programmed vagina-insecurity is somehow valid rather than being an imaginary paranoia fed (in the past) by ignorance and (currently) by companies trying to market their unneeded products to another generation of skittish women they helped program? That the only way to not offend everyone around you is to use their product so that you have a certain fresh linen smell about your nether-regions? I can't say this strongly enough . . . Fight that programming!
The "bottom line" pun is offensive! I can't decide whether or not this was an oversight of the caliber of "XXX project" or an intentional pun. Either way, it sucks because females sit on their genitals. The ostensible advice, to remember that your value to the company is based upon finances, is lost in the subtext (if I can even use that word) of your value being tied to the "bottom line". If this had been written anywhere else, it wouldn't be offensive. The context is both what brings out the pun and makes it offensive.
Staying "fresh" isn't important; staying "clean" is, and is really IS simple! We don't need a special product for our vulva -- just washing with normal soap daily does the job. The lesson your mother taught you when you were a tot has always applied and will continue to apply until the day you die. Your vulva and vagina need no different cleaning care than any other part of your body, and it certainly doesn't need deodorant! If you're worried that it does, then see your doctor to make sure nothing's wrong. When your doctor tells you you're healthy, that your feminine smell is within the normal (wide) range of variation, throw all those damned products in the trash and learn to love yourself!
There is good advice available on this topic, why not use it?! This is an advertorial, and that means that the point was to push their product. While I understand that this means at least one of the number points had to be about the product, did it have to be #1? Why not #8? Besides the alternative advice I've offered above, there is at least two quality online articles on why women have a difficult time asking for raises that not only offer insights as to why this is but also practical advice on how to do so but also how to prepare to do so. Why go with the air-headed powder-puff Tiger Beat-oriented information instead of the gritty, real deal, when the information is out there? Laziness, ignorance, and a least-common denominator mindset is why.
Men receive practical advice, women receive garbage and insecurity! Check out these two articles, targeted towards men, that offer advice on how to ask for a raise. You won't see much crossover between these advice pieces and the Summer's Eve Woman's Day advertorial. Why is this?
We are valuable, and our perspective is all our own. We must keep refusing to participate in that which reduces us. Only with vigilance and constant contrariness will we achieve that which is ours to claim: cultural equality.
The path through these woods I would like to know, but the answer lies in the distance though. On this, the darkest night of the year, my little horse must think it queer to pause when there is no answer here. She gives her harness bells a shake, knowing there must be some mistake. The answers are myriad, dark and deep, and we have traveled miles without sleep. Between the woods and frozen lake, let's light the torches and grab our skates. They will not see us stopping here until long after we have refused their fear. *
~Riot.Jane
Let's start from the top of their list . . .
Vaginas are NOT dirty or germy in their natural, healthy state! Health professionals have finally manged to, for the most part, eradicate the idea that we need to douche to maintain the health of our vaginas, but the myth that they smell bad is still out there. Vaginas have a smell, and much like other smells that humans have, the smell varies from woman to woman. Sometimes it's earthy, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's stronger than other times. Just because the pubic area has a smell all its own doesn't mean there's something wrong (with it or its smell or with us), or that it's bad, or that something should be done about it. The male genitals also have a smell all their own, one that also varies man to man. No one markets "scrotum freshening" products to them because regular soap use is considered sufficient. This should apply to the vulva as well, but we're supposed to feel our "most confident" by "staying fresh" down there. Hear me, women: The only reason our natural smell could possibly affect our confidence is because we've been programmed to believe there's something wrong with it (and, therefore, with us). Fight that programming!
We are valuable, and our perspective is all our own. We must keep refusing to participate in that which reduces us. Only with vigilance and constant contrariness will we achieve that which is ours to claim: cultural equality.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The path through these woods I would like to know, but the answer lies in the distance though. On this, the darkest night of the year, my little horse must think it queer to pause when there is no answer here. She gives her harness bells a shake, knowing there must be some mistake. The answers are myriad, dark and deep, and we have traveled miles without sleep. Between the woods and frozen lake, let's light the torches and grab our skates. They will not see us stopping here until long after we have refused their fear. *
~Riot.Jane
Want a Raise? Wash Your Vulva, Dammit! (Part 1)
Male friend trident5 kicked a DemocraticUnderground link my way with the comment, "I am wholly unqualified to offer an opinion on this." Kowing him, I was expecting to find something nerdy/political and bizarre enough that he, one of my Nerd Flock, would be dumbfounded.
Moments after clicking the link, my curiosity turned the corner of Geek Avenue and sped down Outrage Lane.
What trident5 sent me was a link to a scan of a recent Women's Day full-page advertisement for a Summer's Eve product. At first glance, the model is a modernly-dressed woman, so it's clear that this is not a retro ad copy.
Click the ad to see the full-sized version. The text is difficult to read, so I replicated it immediately below the ad. Prepare for your own personal Two Minutes of Hate:
Feel free to comment or submit your impressions before I make my second post.
~Riot.Jane
Moments after clicking the link, my curiosity turned the corner of Geek Avenue and sped down Outrage Lane.
What trident5 sent me was a link to a scan of a recent Women's Day full-page advertisement for a Summer's Eve product. At first glance, the model is a modernly-dressed woman, so it's clear that this is not a retro ad copy.
Click the ad to see the full-sized version. The text is difficult to read, so I replicated it immediately below the ad. Prepare for your own personal Two Minutes of Hate:
 |
| Click the ad to see the full-sized version |
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways. Which I will do in a later post after I manage to reclaim my brain.Confidence at Work:How to Ask for a RaiseFeel your most confident every day
- It should start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer's Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer's Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day.
- Just as important: Be sure to eat a healthy breakfast.
- Leave early. You don't want to be late on a day when someone will be thinking about your performance.
- Go over your calendar for the past year, look through old files and emails. Jot down a list of all your important contributions and accomplishments.
- Bring quotes from higher-ups to the meeting, such as "Great job on the XXX project! You made me look good."
- Don't be afraid of silence. Effective negotiation requires using strategic pauses. These valuable moments allow your points to resonate and give you time to gather your thoughts.
- Don't let the conversation stray or get personal.
- Focus on the things you've done to improve the bottom line. Today, it's about your worth to the company.
Whether you're at work or at play, staying fresh isn't always simple. Designed for daily use, Summer's Eve Feminine Wash and Feminine Cleansing Cloths help you feel clean and confident from the beginnning of your day to the end.
Feel free to comment or submit your impressions before I make my second post.
~Riot.Jane
Owning vs Emphasizing Your Feminity
On her AuntMoxie blog, Mary Michael Townsend recently wrote about the motivation behind her decision to begin a mini-revamp on her personal image. While I tend to respond to such discussions with a "Meh" (I am just not a clothes and make-up kinda girl), the first words caught my eye:
I will spare you the rant that comes to mind because Mary's only criticizing the female flight attendants. God save us from returning to the days of inequitable professional dress codes. We're still fighting the equal-pay and equal-promotion battles, and retro thinking hasn't helped.
As for the "boobs-in-the-face" and "'hey-do-you-want-a-piece-of-this'" types of emphasized femininity, these expressions are just as valid as the Mad Men image that Mary prefers or the Rosie the Riveter image that Southwest's female flight attendants invoked in her. The last thing that women need from other women is judgment regarding their work clothes, especially when it's uniformed attire (which he vast majority of flight attendants wear). Even if it's not a uniform, if you don't have something useful or supportive to say, would you kindly shut your mouth?
How do you think a female flight attendant from Southwest would feel if she read this? Are you really advocating that we should all return to impractical (and expensive!) clothes and hair, shoes that hurt our feet, and other affectations that detract from our independence and equality? Seriously, I'm okay with you saying this is how you feel about you and your style, but not with your saying that we all should do the same.
Isn't it lovely that our culture has evolved to the point of allowing each woman to choose our her personal style? Sure, "women and men alike enjoy looking at attractive women," especially those emphasizing (or over-emphasizing) their femininity. The proper time and place for that is social, though, not professional.
~Riot.Jane
Despite knowing I'll get ripped for sounding sexist, I'll say it: I think a lot of single women would probably feel more empowered over their dating lives if they'd own their femininity rather than shove it in their work suits.Okay, Mary, I dare you to tell me more about "owning my own femininity" without sounding sexist.
It hit me the other day while on a Southwest Airlines flight on which the flight attendant females walked the aisles in golf shirts, Dickie's work pants, and something akin to truckers' shoes. They looked like they should be directing planes on the Tarmac; not serving sodas. What happened to the days of the tall boots and mini skirts? It was so much more... well... feminine. (Yeah, I know. It's a dirty word to some women, but I have no problem with it. Women and men alike enjoy looking at attractive women. Tall boots? Short Skirts? Just throw in some tights, and I'll put them on now!)
But the sight of these women was just another reminder to get on the stick with something I've been wanting to do for a few weeks now: a mini-image revamp. Unlike the direction that Southwest is headed, I'm going full-throttle feminine. Not boobs-in-the-face, crack-showing, "hey-do-you-want-a-piece-of-this" pseudo-femininity feminine (as a lot of the teens and twenty-somethings seem to deem sexy), but old-fashioned feminine with a sophisticated, modern edge.WHOA THERE! Sounds to me like Mary is equating or confusing the words "owning" with "emphasizing."
Since when are skirts and dress blouses important to "serving sodas"? Why is a woman who isn't in heels and hose only suitable for "directing planes on the Tarmac"? When one woman's opinion is that tall boots, tights, and miniskirts are "feminine", this woman's opinion is that tall boots, tights, and miniskirts are an affectation designed to make ourselves more visually appealing to men while forcing us to walk like prey animals. (There's no surer way to make yourself seem like something to be protected rather than respected than to not be able to walk with a sure, strong stride at a quick clip on your own two feet.)
"[T]he direction that Southwest is headed" makes my heart sing. Enlightened companies with non-sexist dress codes are the ones that receive my resume. I don't want to work for a company that attracts and caters to Barbie Doll women. I don't need to compete with the Bimbo Brigade while they ostracize me from the informal networks that create successful professional relationships. I definitely don't do well in environments that respect physical beauty and politics more than efficiency and quality work product.
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| Business Casual Attire |
For the record, golf shirts (and the very similar item called polo shirts) are available in female cuts/sizes, and the two pair of Dickies "work pants" that I own look like slacks when ironed. "Business Casual" usually includes slacks and polos. Such attire is common today, especially in environments where employees will have to step, fetch, and perform any type of manual labor as part of their job duties (flight attendants, PC support, and inventory clerks are good examples). People required to be on their feet for hours at a time deserve the respect and kindness of shoes that fit their feet, not feet having to fit their shoes. Activity-appropriate footwear is actually a safety and ergonomic issue.
I will spare you the rant that comes to mind because Mary's only criticizing the female flight attendants. God save us from returning to the days of inequitable professional dress codes. We're still fighting the equal-pay and equal-promotion battles, and retro thinking hasn't helped.
As for the "boobs-in-the-face" and "'hey-do-you-want-a-piece-of-this'" types of emphasized femininity, these expressions are just as valid as the Mad Men image that Mary prefers or the Rosie the Riveter image that Southwest's female flight attendants invoked in her. The last thing that women need from other women is judgment regarding their work clothes, especially when it's uniformed attire (which he vast majority of flight attendants wear). Even if it's not a uniform, if you don't have something useful or supportive to say, would you kindly shut your mouth?
How do you think a female flight attendant from Southwest would feel if she read this? Are you really advocating that we should all return to impractical (and expensive!) clothes and hair, shoes that hurt our feet, and other affectations that detract from our independence and equality? Seriously, I'm okay with you saying this is how you feel about you and your style, but not with your saying that we all should do the same.
Isn't it lovely that our culture has evolved to the point of allowing each woman to choose our her personal style? Sure, "women and men alike enjoy looking at attractive women," especially those emphasizing (or over-emphasizing) their femininity. The proper time and place for that is social, though, not professional.
~Riot.Jane
Fe/Male Friendships -- Are They Possible?
I just got home from work. The hour is later than normal because I went out for a couple of beers with a co-worker after work. My co-worker and I are very good friends; we know lots of stuff about each other's past, each other's current lives, romantic relationships, and political and religious leanings. We get together regularly for dinner or drinks, occasionally with the other's significant other joining us. We e-mail each other's personal e-mail accounts about non-work items regularly. Hell, we've even compared pornography souces. Sounds like probably a million other work friendships (except for the porn thing), and probably better than most, right?
The reason this is important, the reason I am posting about it, is because my co-worker is a man.
This occurred to me, actually for the first time, while we were drinking tonight. During a lull in conversation, I told him, "One of the reasons I love you so much is that we can drink, we can talk, we have this wonderful intimate friendship, and I can be as handsy as beer will prompt me, and we have none of that [motion back and forth between each other] baggage that so many male/female relationships do. You don't think I'm coming on to you, so you're neither hopeful nor nervous about it. We're just friends, for once everyone is clear. And I love it!"
He smiled, "Indeed." And we were of a single mind. What a wonderful moment!
I think this minor moment is of importance to The Jane Community is that I've heard it said, over and over, that men and women can not be friends. That the sexual subtext of the human animal prevents this from occurring. That there's always going to be, at the very best, unconscious sexual jockeying, game-playing, some sort of unvoiced undercurrent that will either ruin whatever "friendship" develops or will turn that "friendship" into, at the very least, a sexual relationship.
I used to agree with this viewpoint. Now that I've actually experienced the contrary, an extremely rewarding and non-sexual fe/male relationship just as intimate as any I've experienced with my best female friends, I must disagree. That this has only happened now because, in general, my most rewarding fe/male relationships have been with boyfriends or ex-boyfriends (I tend to keep them around as friends because I liked them before we became a couple) bears mentioning. I'm not sure if it's age, maturity, or the particular compatibility of my co-worker and me, but I've discovered the wonder of a rewarding and non-sexual fe/male relationship that has fundamentally cracked my previous views of the fe/male dynamic.
I'd be interested to hear about your experiences in this arena, and about any shifts in your perspective over time. I am, at the moment, attempting to reconcile the repercussions of my perspective shift, and I'd like to hear how such a thing worked for others.
~Riot.Jane
The reason this is important, the reason I am posting about it, is because my co-worker is a man.
This occurred to me, actually for the first time, while we were drinking tonight. During a lull in conversation, I told him, "One of the reasons I love you so much is that we can drink, we can talk, we have this wonderful intimate friendship, and I can be as handsy as beer will prompt me, and we have none of that [motion back and forth between each other] baggage that so many male/female relationships do. You don't think I'm coming on to you, so you're neither hopeful nor nervous about it. We're just friends, for once everyone is clear. And I love it!"
He smiled, "Indeed." And we were of a single mind. What a wonderful moment!
I think this minor moment is of importance to The Jane Community is that I've heard it said, over and over, that men and women can not be friends. That the sexual subtext of the human animal prevents this from occurring. That there's always going to be, at the very best, unconscious sexual jockeying, game-playing, some sort of unvoiced undercurrent that will either ruin whatever "friendship" develops or will turn that "friendship" into, at the very least, a sexual relationship.
I used to agree with this viewpoint. Now that I've actually experienced the contrary, an extremely rewarding and non-sexual fe/male relationship just as intimate as any I've experienced with my best female friends, I must disagree. That this has only happened now because, in general, my most rewarding fe/male relationships have been with boyfriends or ex-boyfriends (I tend to keep them around as friends because I liked them before we became a couple) bears mentioning. I'm not sure if it's age, maturity, or the particular compatibility of my co-worker and me, but I've discovered the wonder of a rewarding and non-sexual fe/male relationship that has fundamentally cracked my previous views of the fe/male dynamic.
I'd be interested to hear about your experiences in this arena, and about any shifts in your perspective over time. I am, at the moment, attempting to reconcile the repercussions of my perspective shift, and I'd like to hear how such a thing worked for others.
~Riot.Jane
This and That
This was sent in by Clair. She says:
"I trained all of my life to become a ballet dancer but when I was 22 an injury left me grounded. Instead of performing on stage, I now wipe butts and make muffins.
But the kicker? I love it."
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