Want a Raise? Wash Your Vulva, Dammit! (Part 1)

Male friend trident5 kicked a DemocraticUnderground link my way with the comment, "I am wholly unqualified to offer an opinion on this."  Kowing him, I was expecting to find something nerdy/political  and bizarre enough that he, one of my Nerd Flock, would be dumbfounded.

Moments after clicking the link, my curiosity turned the corner of Geek Avenue and sped down Outrage Lane. 

What trident5 sent me was a link to a scan of a recent Women's Day full-page advertisement for a Summer's Eve product. At first glance, the model is a modernly-dressed woman, so it's clear that this is not a retro ad copy.

Click the ad to see the full-sized version. The text is difficult to read, so I replicated it immediately below the ad.  Prepare for your own personal Two Minutes of Hate:

Click the ad to see the full-sized version

Confidence at Work:
How to Ask for a Raise 
  1. It should start with your usual routine and all the things you do to feel your best, including showering with Summer's Eve Feminine Wash or throwing a packet of Summer's Eve Feminine Cleansing Cloths into your bag for a quick freshness pick-me-up during the day.
  2. Just as important: Be sure to eat a healthy breakfast.
  3. Leave early. You don't want to be late on a day when someone will be thinking about your performance.
  4. Go over your calendar for the past year, look through old files and emails. Jot down a list of all your important contributions and accomplishments.
  5. Bring quotes from higher-ups to the meeting, such as "Great job on the XXX project!  You made me look good."
  6. Don't be afraid of silence. Effective negotiation requires using strategic pauses.  These valuable moments allow your points to resonate and give you time to gather your thoughts.
  7. Don't let the conversation stray or get personal.
  8. Focus on the things you've done to improve the bottom line. Today, it's about your worth to the company.
Feel your most confident every day
Whether you're at work or at play, staying fresh isn't always simple.  Designed for daily use,  Summer's Eve Feminine Wash and Feminine Cleansing Cloths help you feel clean and confident from the beginnning of your day to the end.
How do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways.  Which I will do in a later post after I manage to reclaim my brain.

Feel free to comment or submit your impressions before I make my second post.

~Riot.Jane

4 comments:

  1. There are very few things that I know with absolute certainty, but I do know this: that advertisement has given me an entirely new set of nightmares. I already check if I have food in my teeth, or visible boogers, now I have to check my intimate cleanliness as well. Because I know that's the first thing I think about when I go into a meeting as well :-| What kind of women are they gearing this toward?

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  2. Anything that helps to further disconnect us from the natural world is a winner these days. Pity the thought that we all reside within these big biological bodies that have needs beyond the next marketing campaign.
    Not even sure what that product is - looks like the same thing we use to clean our 11 month old!!

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  3. Indeed, shanegenziuk -- It's an individually-packaged moist wipe, very similar to baby wipes or the wipes you might get at a chicken wing restaurant to clean your hands/face.

    Nice, huh?

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  4. Wow it is so wrong! Keep up the good fight Jane. I understand.

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