Sexy Sundays | The Ins & Outs of Anal Sex (Part 1) (NSFW)

MellissaY

We're introducing a new feature -- Sexy Sundays!  In this feature (which we hope to post every week) we will discuss topics related to everyone's favorite activity. We're always looking for ideas and contributions, so get those e-mails to us!

This, the first Sexy Sundays post, is an overview of anal sex written by a couple who want to share their experiences with same.  The next Sexy Sundays post will address the nuts-and-bolts and techniques of the topic with lots of information for beginners! 

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Anal sex. There, I said it.

For some it's a taboo subject that ranges from gross to terrifying but if done correctly anal can be an exciting and extremely pleasurable activity for both partners. Like many women, I had a partner who was interested in giving “backdoor loving” a shot but I was hesitant to say the least. I was worried about pain and damage that could be caused and let's not even discuss those horrifying images of “trunk butt” or the “gape”. (Come on, you've seen them too.)

After many years of discussions and false starts I decided to finally consent to trying anal in earnest. Rather than jump in feet first, I did some research. It turns out that the best way to embark on this particular sexual journey is, in a word, slowly.

Per the advice of books and other sources my partner and I dug up on the web, we started slowly by inserting only a very well-lubed finger tip at first. After getting used that sensation, we worked up to a finger. I have to have clitoral stimulation during any anal activity, and I would suggest to any woman that they do the same, at least at first. It helps you to relax and once you get used to the feeling of having something in your (hmm, we'll use a clinical term for this classy article) rectum, the sensation of a clitoral stimulation is amazing.

After lots of lube and practice, we worked our way up to our goal. My partner went very slowly and was conscientious enough to ask me how I was feeling during the process and that, in turn, relaxed me enough to keep going. The key to successful and pleasurable anal is a patient and understanding partner. Period. You cannot rush this! It takes some time, but the payoff is well worth it. The orgasm I experience during anal sex is unlike any other. It's a deep, intense release that leaves me shaking and my legs like jelly every time. My guy and I have added an awesome addition to our sexual repertoire with anal sex and I would highly suggest you Janes do too.

I am by no means an expert in anal, but if you are interested in trying out anal penetration, here are few things to keep in mind:

• Good anal starts with a good shower. Let you partner wash your backside so you can get used to the idea of someone being back there (no insertion just yet, please).
• Use a lot of good lube (We prefer AstroGlide for it's slippery, long-lasting, and non-sticky qualities).
• Go slow, starting with only a finger tip. Rushing in can cause pain and trauma that can end your anal aspirations before they begin. Unlike vaginal penetration, there should be no blood the first time, and if you take your time there won't be any. Later, if you notice any blood in your stool stop. Wait a few days before trying again.
• There will be some pressure with insertion. Until you get used to this pressure, you might think you have to go to the restroom to have a bowel movement.
• Have a partner who listens to you and knows YOUR cues. Only attempt this with a trusted person. Anal is intense and you need someone who will appreciate your needs to go slow or maybe even stop.
• At first, it might help if you add some other form of stimulation, be it clitoral, breast, or anything else that you enjoy. Once you get going, it's easy to get caught up and stop. While that's a GOOD thing, for the initial insertion go round I find that a self-given or partner-given hand job does wonders.
• Don't be afraid to use your voice. Tell your partner how you're feeling! If it's too fast, too slow, too much or not enough, communication is key.
• Like all things related to sex, the position you choose also plays a factor in comfort. For the first few times we found that the forward-facing mount to be easier as the penetration was not as deep as the rear mount. 

Men can also benefit from the joys of receiving anal sex. Anal insertion stimulates their prostate and gives them earthshaking orgasms. Like we did when beginning the process with me, we began by only inserting a finger tip and went from there.

I realize that there is a real stigma attached to men enjoying anything in their anus, but I assure you that his deriving pleasure from it doesn't indicate he's gay. Having sex with other men indicates that he's bisexual or gay. The long and short of it is that giving and receiving anal can be an awesome experience that broadens your horizons and breaks down barriers if you allow it to.

~MellissaY and JohnY