Maintaining a Sex Life While Co-Sleeping

Bess Bedell
Bess Bedell has agreed to share her experiences maintaining a sex life while co-sleeping (children sleeping in the same bed as the parent/s).  She's shared her experience and offers advice to fellow parents interested in the topic. 


Being a parent is hard. Being a parent and having a gratifying sexual life can sometimes feel impossible. And when you throw a baby in the middle of the bed, smack center between you and your spouse - sex can become a rare commodity. The number one concern of many parents is: If they co-sleep with their baby, how will they ever have sex? As a co-sleeping mom who has had 1-2 children in the bed with her every night for the past 2 ½ years, I can help you with that question.

1) Get out of your bedroom!
The bedroom may be nice and cozy and be more familiar territory lately for intimacy but there is an entire home at your disposal. After the kids are in bed (including in your bed), take it out into the rest of the house. The floor, the couch, the shower, the counter, the table.... there are all kinds of options right around you. Get out of the bed and explore.

2) Find the time-
No, it’s not like the days when you were dating and everything was spontaneous and exciting. Our days are now filled with crying and diapers, housework, and helping kids with homework. Fitting in time with your significant other can sometimes feel impossible. It isn't, though. Where there is a will, there is a way and you can make a way if you work for it! Often, that time will be at night after everyone else is in bed and, though you may be tired and ready to snooze yourself, it is worth it to reach for that last bit of energy you have and make some time for your honey! If you can find the time for facebook, shopping, reading, pedicures or anything else you do for enjoyment, you can find time for sex.

3) Change things up-The downside of planned sex is... planned sex. But make it different. Buy a new sexy outfit or toy or lay down a blanket and light candles. Do something that will make your sweetie say, “Wow!”. The look on their face and the change of pace will make it feel like new, exciting (unplanned) sex - like it used to!

So, co-sleepers out there: Don’t despair. Your sex life is not a thing of the past. As a matter of fact, it may just become more exciting than ever before!

~Bess Bedell

1 comment:

  1. Excellent information Bess! Thanks so much for writing this and helping co-sleepers to connect.