This topic can really be a confronting one. Generally spirituality exists in an entirely different realm from sexuality. In fact, they are often regarded as diametrically opposed to each other.
While writing my memoir, which is now titled Sex and the Single Senior: A Cougar’s Search for Love, I spent quite a bit of time pondering the best title for my autobiography. I wanted the title to communicate what my journey was all about, and also to reveal that I had struck a balance between two contrasting aspects of my life.
The first title I came up with was ‘The Saint/Slut Syndrome”. That pretty much said it for me. The saint part was to have referred to my integrity — no cheating, no lies, and the second part, the slut, well, that requires no explanation!
Thinking it over, it seemed not to be such a good idea, as calling it a syndrome seemed to require scientific assessment of a psychological pattern to which I was giving a new name. So I dropped that one …reluctantly, may I add. It would have been fun to be the originator of a unique term for a new phenomenon…something like the “zipless fuck” that was introduced by Erica Jong in the 60’s.
So, regrettably, the Saint/Slut Syndrome term never made it to Webster’s…or the cover of my memoir.
Then I came up with the simple, sweet title, “Dancing Through Time.” But when I thought about it I had to admit that it was no big deal that Brooklyn-born Hattie loved to dance…even though she studied with Martha Graham. So, that one was nixed too. But this time with no regrets… it was too weak.
Enter Dolce & Gabbana!
Two years ago I was called to model for a Dolce &aabbana ad featuring Claudia Schiffer. The casting director was seeking a very sexy older beauty to appear as a Cougar wearing a skin tight gold bathing suit. And the sexy older beauty he chose was me!
Suddenly the word Cougar started appearing everywhere. That did it! I used the word in my book title, and suddenly I was featured all over the media as the Consummate Cougar.
So, you may ask, “What does this have to do with balancing sexuality with spirituality?”
Becoming a public figure (literally) gave me the chance to speak about vital human issues like fidelity, integrity, true passion expressed with respect and love…and most importantly, honoring oneself through Time.
So this Cougar finally got heard. And my message now gets out there loud and clear:
Love and honor yourself and others, be grateful for the gift of life and practice safe sex with partner(s) whom you can cherish and empower. And at 74, I’m thrilled to tell you to NEVER GIVE UP ON EXPRESSING YOURSELF SEXUALLY.
For me, Love and Sex are the most divine gifts God could ever have bestowed on the Human Race.