Happiness To Last A Lifetime

Children are naturally happy. We watch their sweet little faces light up with joy, and marvel at their wild energy. We were all once children, romping just like the youngsters we see all around us. Somehow, that joy gets lost as we mature.

Hattie RetroAge

Just like most people, I’ve endured episodes of sadness and depression. There were times that my physical and emotional pain felt unendurable, and I prayed for death. My life seemed doomed… a never-ending spiral descending to the depths of despair.

Radical action was called for. I tried everything … therapists, love affairs, shopping, praying, St. John’s Wort, cappuccino … but the unhappiness never budged. It acted like it had found a rent-controlled apartment, and wasn’t intending to move!

I love joy, excitement, pleasure and set out to find the Fountain of Happiness. Mostly we think of finding the Fountain of Youth, but I’d already drunk gallons from that source, and the youth part was doing just fine. But the joy part was still missing, and though I looked and felt younger than my years, happiness was eluding me. I had to re-awaken my spirit.

Was that even possible?

YES, one’s spirit can be re-awakened. It takes work, dedication and trust.

First, clearly state your desire/need. Write it down and read it aloud several times a day. After all, how can you expect the Universe to help unless you’re clear about what you’re asking for?

Then, hold tight to my Hattietude:

IMPOSSIBLE = I’M POSSIBLE

This was my very first affirmation, since restoring my youthful joy, energy and wonder seemed impossible.
Rest and wait for guidance … it WILL SHOW UP and guide you to a new consciousness.

For me, it was a voice from inside my mind that assured me that my quest would be fulfilled. I was told that I would achieve happiness if I mastered self-love, trust, and being grateful for my journey … no matter what.
This was asking for true surrender, and I wasn’t certain that I could become a gracious and grateful woman. For most of my adult life, I had been kvetching and complaining and crying and agonizing. How could I turn that around?

It was time to buckle down and get rid of all ugly behavior. I began to carefully monitor my thoughts and behavior … WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. It became obvious that there were many times that I was nasty, impatient, angry, ungrateful, bratty … all the familiar human traits that sour our Higher Selves. I realized that if this negative and judgmental M.O. persisted, it would backfire and I would remain unhappy. So whenever I allowed myself to be mean, unforgiving, cold, insensitive, I SWITCHED MY BEHAVIOR.

Although I was changing my behavior and thoughts, I was neglecting to LOVE AND RESPECT MYSELF through this process. After all, this Earth journey ain’t a perpetual party. Without being narcissistic or vain, it was essential for me to honor and love myself for being courageous enough to take on this spiritually divine task. I had to stop feeling inadequate and insecure for all my flaws and shortcomings. And you can bet I have many!

I suspect you are plagued with self-doubt and negative feelings about yourself. Most humans are. I’d like you to observe how often you judge yourself harshly. I’m pretty sure the answer will be “often”.

Remind yourself that lack of self-love doesn’t happen naturally. We’ve spent years learning to hate ourselves and others. The media contributes to this, as it bombards us with anorectic models, botoxed faces and fashions whose prices rival monthly rent payments.

So, to feel better, I focused on developing self-love.

Regrettably that didn’t work. I was still unhappy.

The reason?

It wasn’t enough to love myself, I had to learn to love others. I was still being mean to others and judging them harshly. As long as I continued to dislike, hate, criticize, complain, and be jealous of others, my own happiness was imperiled.

As I looked around me, I saw sadness in faces around me. I decided to greet them with a huge smile on my face. If I couldn’t be happy myself, at least I could help make others feel better. I practiced smiling at everyone as I walked down the street. I even stopped cursing cab drivers! (I count that as a major achievement!).

Transforming from being sour and judgmental to being sweet and loving to others was no easy task. I had been accustomed to finding fault with others … and, what’s more … letting them know about it!
Henceforth, whenever I find myself nastily judging people for any number of reasons, I shift and find beauty in each and every one of them.

This is my answer.

Being kind and loving to others has blessed me with the sought-after happiness. With this shift, a smile now graces my face, and I feel at peace for the first time in decades.

And, surprise … as a sweet bonus, my newly smiling face glowed with beauty.

Yours will too!

Being kind, appreciative, grateful and loving is the answer to achieving happiness for a lifetime.

Give it a try, and write me at hattie@hattieretroage.com to let me know what you experienced.

~Hattie RetroAge
  Holistically Hattie