I wasn’t sure about writing this. I don’t like talking about stuff with anyone who isn’t like me. I really don’t even know if this a topic about “women,” but I am one and this is about me. I am an addict. I’m not just addicted to one thing, I have multiple addictions. I smoke, I drink every night after work, I do cocaine on the weekends and holidays. I smoke pot, every single day. I have never, not once, tried to stop.
Because of the things I do I’m pretty much regularly out of control. I am consistently in bad situations. I have been beaten, raped, had car accidents, lost jobs, been arrested; I’ve served jail time more than once. Yet I never try to quit. When I think about living without my addictions I feel like I can’t breath.
My family has no idea I live like this. I live in a different state, and my mother actually thinks I’m still married to a man I haven’t been with in 3 years. He left me because I was a wreck. The thing is, NOBODY knows about this. Not even my friends.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this.
Maybe I just wanted to tell someone...