A comment was posted on a recent submission entitled "Beauty=Full?" and the author was kind enough to expound upon it and create a new post for us. Beauty can be such a hurtful and devisive issue among women. We hope you'll read, consider, and discuss this essay.
Being physically beautiful is a crippling experience. I was, myself, at one point in my life quite lovely. I also worked with models for many years and noticed a definite lack of character, a lack of maturity in all of us. Our value system was flawed, sometimes to the extreme. When we grow up physically beautiful, people do for us what we should do for ourselves. We are excused from many tasks and duties because we are pretty. We are never properly taught or disciplined and because of this we never mature.
We are awarded social status that we do not deserve nor are ready for. We are gifted with material items and wealth because of our beauty and that denies the ability and value of earning our own way and the beauty of growing strong inwardly. We have an overblown sense of selves, of our personal worth and the value of money. We are artificial, prideful and vain. We are unformed spiritually and stunted emotionally. Because our self-esteem is based on the way we look, we judge others by the way they look. We become extremely petty and competitive and can only maintain superficial, strained relationships with others of our gender. We have many “friends” few of whom care.
We are used and abused because the men who are attracted to us are shallow and vain themselves and desire not to be with us because of who we are but because of how we look. They are quite often narcissistic. We hold as much value as their car, or watch, or shoes. We are merely something else for them to wear. We are only something else for them to show off to their so called friends. We are an object, a thing, not a real woman. We are a Doll….
The men that seek us are quite often narcissistic. It is as if our only value is in being part of their inward, twisted sense of self. We are their mirror, and they imagine that we are how they are judged by the world. We must not only look perfect. We must be, in our totality, their psycho idea of perfection at all times. Otherwise their carefully guarded lack of self-esteem comes crashing down on our head and life begins to get very nasty.
These men can be quite cruel in their efforts to abandoned or reform their once perfect object of love. We have no defense against this because we ourselves are shallow, vain and malformed. We think it is ok and normal to be so plastic on the outside that no life can reach the inside. Not to mention we picked him because he is handsome, so he must be Mr. Right. And we look so good together!
When we begin to fade, as the world's idea of beauty always does, we are traded in for a newer model. When we break, as all immature people do, we are thrown away, like a thing without use. If we are lacking morals and depth and fullness, we become crushed under the weight of it all.
We age, not so gracefully, slipping into addictions and fight for our lives with plastic surgery after plastic surgery. We become those terrible pathetic women with giant unnatural boobs, face brightly painted, clothes too tight, stiletto heels with shorts, big hair, drunk at the bar, hanging on an old rich man or a young guy. You know the ones who can drive a porche convertible but cannot afford the maintenance. The kind of woman that sees nothing, is nothing.
It as if we become as plastic as the Barbie we once so admired.
Barbara Rhyne Tucker